Friday, March 9, 2007

The Twin Dilemma XVI

43. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

The sun is setting here. Peri is pacing in front of the TARDIS, wringing her hands. Noma and Fabian are chatting.

FABIAN
I’m sorry, Ms. Brown. We’re just going to have to make a strike on the palace.

PERI
You’ll kill everyone in it.

FABIAN
We’re not sure there’s anyone alive there.

PERI
And there definitely won’t be if you go storming in without thinking.

NOMA
The Doctor won’t have survived the meeting.

PERI
You can’t know that. And if you run in without understanding things, you can never make them better!

DOCTOR
Ah-hah! A woman after my own hearts!

They all whirl around to see the Doctor standing behind them, leaning against the TARDIS, hands in his pocket, smiling cheerfully.

DOCTOR
You know, it’s moments like that that make the last nine centuries worthwhile.


44. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

As before. Hugo is studying the controls while the Chamberlain frets.

CHAMBERLAIN
Listen young sir, this planet is finished! There’s nothing for us here.

HUGO
Shut up.

CHAMBERLAIN
But this TARDIS can get us away from here!

HUGO
I said shut up!

CHAMBERLAIN
But we must get away from here! Do you know how to pilot it?

HUGO
I have an idea.

CHAMBERLAIN
Then we can escape.

HUGO
It’d be desertion. If my General finds out...

CHAMBERLAIN
Money! I can give you money!

Hugo is surprised.

HUGO
Can you?

CHAMBERLAIN
Five million credits!

HUGO
You can pay me that much?

CHAMBERLAIN
You said you can pilot this ship!

HUGO
And I’d have to deal with the Doctor if he catches us.

CHAMBERLAIN
Six million! And you’re taking the clothes from my mother’s back!

Hugo grins like a predator.

HUGO
I wouldn’t what to deprive her.

CHAMBERLAIN
Seven million!

HUGO
And leave your father naked too? Come now!

CHAMBERLAIN
Then teach me to fly this thing, I’ll pilot it myself.

HUGO
All right.

The Chamberlain sags with relief.

CHAMBERLAIN
Thank you...

HUGO
Ten million.

CHAMBERLAIN
What?

HUGO
Ten million credits.

She considers her options. Or rather, lack of them.

CHAMBERLAIN
...Fine! Ten million!


45. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

Peri angrilly bangs her fist against the Doctor’s shoulder.

PERI
I thought you were dead!

DOCTOR
Sorry about that! Becoming a bit of a habit, isn’t it?

PERI
Don’t ever do that again!

DOCTOR
Of course not.

PERI
Are you all right?

DOCTOR
Do I look otherwise?

FABIAN
What happened to Mestor?

DOCTOR
His brilliant plan turned against him. Became so complex and complicated that when it fell apart it did so spectacularly. Mestor’s gone in mind, body and soul. And from what I can gather he was the only Tractator, er, Sectom, on Joconda. You won’t be bothered again.

FABIAN
So, who’s the Master of Joconda now, then?

DOCTOR
My vote’s for Drak.

NOMA
Not Azmael?

The Doctor takes a deep breath.

DOCTOR
No. Not Azmael. Mestor had a companion for his death. I’m sorry. I truly am.

Noma bunches his fists.

NOMA
He said he wouldn’t abandon us.

DOCTOR
He didn’t. Jaconda doesn’t need him now. It doesn’t need any alien to rule it for you. You can manage it on your own and you have his blessing. You said you’d be loyal to him, then don’t give up on him just because he’s dead. Will you?

Noma turns and walks off. So do the Jocondan guards. Fabian clears his throat.

FABIAN
I best go and discuss things with Drak. There’s a lot to do.

DOCTOR
Yes, and I’m sure you’d do it admirably, Admiral.

FABIAN
General.

DOCTOR
Ah. Well, Peri, time to leave. Unless you’d like to stay here with the others?

PERI
You need me?

DOCTOR
I can’t do without you. And the very least I can offer after this is a trip back to Earth.

PERI
Yes. The very least.

They turn and enter the TARDIS. Fabian frowns at this, then he and his squad head off after Noma and the guards.


45. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor and Peri enter. The others look up in surprise.

HUGO/CHAMBERLAIN
Doctor!

DOCTOR
Yes, I’m alive, yes, Mestor is dead and no, it wasn’t impossible.

CHAMBERLAIN
Mestor is dead?! Then we’ve got to get out of here.

The Doctor nods sagely and moves to the controls then stops, double takes.

DOCTOR
Wait, I remember you, you’re Slarn the Chamberlain!

The Chamberlain pants with relief at the Doctor’s friendly tone.

CHAMBERLAIN
Yes, that’s right!

The Doctor’s expression sours.

DOCTOR
I don’t like you.

CHAMBERLAIN
BUT I MUST GET AWAY FROM HERE!

DOCTOR
Then I suggest you start walking because I’m not taking you.

The Chamberlain tugs at her feathers in frustration.


46. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

Drak stands looking at the small heap of dust on the throne. He sighs.

DRAK
Poor Master Azmael. Be at peace.

A loud, painful groan comes from the floor. Drak frowns and crosses over to Azmael’s body, which is twitching as if alive. However, it no longer fits Azmael’s blood-spattered clothes. Cautiously, Drak draws back the cloak to reveal a balding man with longish white hair and a craggy face. Slowly he opens his eyes and looks up at Drak.

OLD MAN
Hello. You must be Drak.

DRAK
Who are you?

The old man stiffly gets to his feet, looking down at himself, impressed.

OLD MAN
Hmm. Not bad. Not bad at all. Is there a mirror around here, by any chance?

Drak numbly points to a rather dirty hexagonal mirror hanging on the wall. The old man crosses to it and examines his face.

OLD MAN
Yes. All told, quite acceptable. I think I’m going to like this.

DRAK
Who are you? Where’s Master Azmael? The Time Lord?

The old man glances at Drak in mild surprise.

OLD MAN
You ask me that, Drak? Don’t you recognize me, friend?

DRAK
I’ve never seen you before in my life.

Behind them, Fabian and the others enter the throne room. The duo pay them no heed.

OLD MAN
I thought it would be quite obvious. Allow me to introduce myself. You are the new Master of Joconda and I... I am the new Azmael!

He smiles. And, at last understanding, Drak smiles back.


33. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor moves around the console, programming it while the others watch on.

DOCTOR
Well, Commander Lang...

HUGO
Liuetenant!

DOCTOR
...are you going to join the campaign to take up presidency of the planet?

Hugo is surprised and delighted.

HUGO
What? You think they’d take me?

DOCTOR
You’re not a Jocondan, which is always half the battle. And you don’t need to be a good hero to be a good ruler, which suits you. Unfortunately, the Jocondans aren’t fools and easily see through hollow promises and misguided leadership, so your bullying and deciet might get you to the top but it won’t keep you there.

HUGO
Are you inferring something?

The Doctor grins wickedly.

DOCTOR
No, I’m implying something. YOU are the one inferring it.

Peri steps between them, a peacemaker.

PERI
I’m sorry, he never used to be so rude.

DOCTOR
So, LIUETENANT, you still fancy high office? If not...

The Doctor indicates the open doors.

DOCTOR
All aboard who’s going aboard.

The Chamberlain turns to Peri desperately.

CHAMBERLAIN
Please save me. They’ll kill me if I stay here!

HUGO
No they won’t.

CHAMBERLAIN
Why not?

HUGO
If you’ve got ten million credits to spend on bribery, then you’d pay serious money for someone to keep you alive.

DOCTOR
And, if nothing else, he’s good with a gun.

The Chamberlain runs a hand through her feathers.

CHAMBERLAIN
All right. Done. You be my bodyguard!

Hugo draws his gun.

HUGO
Only had to ask.

PERI
Well, don’t you want to go back to Earth?

HUGO
It’ll be a while before I’m officially alive and I get more cash out of Slarn than I ever could on Earth. I’ve got nothing there.

DOCTOR
That I can believe.

Hugo glares at him, but the Doctor is already setting controls. He turns to Peri and smiles.

HUGO
It was nice to have met you, no matter how strange the circumstances.

They shake hands.

PERI
Good luck.

Hugo nods and waves the gun at the Chamberlain.

CHAMBERLAIN
I am your employer, you know! I deserve some respect!

HUGO
Well, I could always run for Master of Joconda...

CHAMBERLAIN
Oh, all right!

HUGO
Oi. Move. Go on.

The duo walk out the doors. Peri follows to see them off. Before she can, however, the Doctor slams down the door lever. The portal shut before she can go through.

PERI
Hey!

DOCTOR
We’re leaving and believe me when I say it’s far healthier to have the doors closed.


47. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

Hugo and the Chamberlain emerge from the TARDIS when the doors slam shut and in moments the time machine has taken off. The Chamberlain jumps slightly in fear at the abrupt departure, but Hugo just blinks and watches it go.

HUGO
Didn’t see that one coming.

He turns to the Chamberlain and waves the gun.

HUGO
Come on, let’s get moving.


48. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor is operating controls with surprising intensity. Peri stands by the doors, glaring across at the Doctor. As he is facing away from her, it has no effect.

PERI
Did you have to be so rude?

The Doctor looks up as if he’s forgotten she’s there. He definitely doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

DOCTOR
To whom?

PERI
Everyone! You could at least have said goodbye.

DOCTOR
Why bother? I’m going back there.

PERI
When?

DOCTOR
Oh, later. But I liked Joconda. It’ll be nice to visit it in its prime.

PERI
And that’s why you didn’t say goodbye?

DOCTOR
Yes.

PERI
You pedant!

The Doctor rolls his eyes and mutters to himself

DOCTOR
Primates.

He heads for the internal door.

PERI
Are you having another of your fits?

DOCTOR
What gives you that idea?

PERI
Azmael. Finding him alive really shook you up. If he died...

The Doctor glances at her.

DOCTOR
You might find it hard to believe this, but I am fully recovered – AND stabilized.

PERI
Then I suggest you take a crash course in manners!

DOCTOR
You seem to forget, Peri, that I am not only from another culture but another planet. I am in your terms an alien. I am therefore bound to have different values and customs.

PERI
You were polite enough before you changed!

DOCTOR
Ah, but at a cost! I was stuck in a repressed behavior pattern, I was on the verge of becoming neurotic.

PERI
We all have to repress our feeling sometimes, and you should get back into the habit.

DOCTOR
Before abandoning me forever, I would suggest you wait a little while. I’m not quite as disagreeable as you might think.

Peri lets the hurt enter her voice.

PERI
You tried to kill me today.

The Doctor closes his eyes.

DOCTOR
But I didn’t did I? I had more than enough self control to let you go.

PERI
After I beat you senseless.

The Doctor opens his eyes and beams at her. She remains grim.

DOCTOR
Well, if THAT’S how you want to interpret what happened, it’s fine with me.

PERI
You’re saying you were in control all along?

The Doctor stops smiling.

DOCTOR
No. But you helped snap me out of it. You saved my soul.

Peri nods.

PERI
You saved my life.

DOCTOR
Now we’re even. Do you want to go home?

PERI
What? Really?

DOCTOR
Yes. Jocodnda in 2300 to Earth 1984, a trip of a few moments in this old TARDIS. Just have to head for the Bronx, or maybe just downtown New York and you’re a train ride from home. Unless of course you want to pick up where you left off on Lanzarote?

PERI
And what will you do once I’m gone?

DOCTOR
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a leaf out of Azmael’s book, head for Titan 3 and cleanse my mind. Self-abnegation in that hellish wilderness in some utterly comfortless hermitage will allow plenty of time for contemplation and repenting.

PERI
Really?

DOCTOR
No, not really. It’s not really me. Peri, you and I have to forget how I used to be, and learn to accept what I am now – a Time Lord, a man of science, of temperament, of PASSION...

PERI
And a very loud voice.

DOCTOR
That too! But inside, I’m a peaceful person, you know that. On occasion, perhaps, I appear to be all noise and bluster. And it is ONLY bluster. You’ve got nothing to fear. You’re quite safe.

PERI
Giant mind-swapping slugs permitting?

DOCTOR
That goes without saying.

Gently he takes her hands and looks deep into her eyes.

DOCTOR
You will stay, won’t you?

Peri avoids his gaze, thinking.

PERI
Well, it’s either this or study for the next three months... All right, I’ll stay. But there are conditions!

DOCTOR
Anything you say, Peri! And to cement our new understanding, we shall start by taking a surprise holiday.

He crosses to the console and starts re-setting controls.

PERI
B-but we haven’t discussed my proviso for staying!

DOCTOR
I agree to everything!

Peri laughs.

PERI
Then the first thing you can do is get out of that outfit and into some proper clothes.

The Doctor frowns, as if wondering what she’s talking about. He twigs.

DOCTOR
Oh, yes, of course. Pity.

PERI
Something black maybe, something sauve – a black suit maybe...

DOCTOR
That tailor on Vesta 95 should be very very worried next time I visit.

So saying, he crosses to the internal door, opens it and walks out.


49. INT. TARDIS CORRIDOR (DAY)

Peri follows him.

PERI
So we’re not going to Vesta 95 then.

DOCTOR
No, I’ve gone right off the idea. We’re going to a land of rolling hills and green meadows – a change from all the bleakness on Joconda and Androzani Minor.

PERI
Does this land have a name?

The Doctor reaches the door to the wardrobe and opens it.

DOCTOR
That is the...

He trails off.

DOCTOR
...surprise.


50. INT. TARDIS WARDROBE (DAY)

The room is a wreck. A fire has swept through the place. Several roundels are missing exposing the circuitry within. The warped metal racks and hangers are surrounded by blackened scraps. Soot is everywhere and a few fires are burning.

DOCTOR
What happened to my wardrobe?!

Peri nudges a small fire with her toe, and picks up a gun-shaped lump of charcoal.

PERI
This was Hugo’s gun. I think that paper clip did more damage that you thought.

DOCTOR
It must have exploded and set fire to all the clothes. All of them! Every single one! Clothes from all sort of planets all throughout history! I’ll never be able to replace them all – even if the fabricator booth was still working!

PERI
What’s that mean?

DOCTOR
I’m stuck in this costume until I can find a decent tailor and bulk bill.

PERI
Well, I’m sure...

DOCTOR
It’s all right for you, Peri. You’ve got Tegan’s room all full of her spare clothes! And Nyssa’s. What about me? The only clothes available are a few moth eaten kilts and a sporran! Well, sorry, Peri, the holiday’s off until we restock.

PERI
Does we have to? I mean... the outfit isn’t that bad... I think.

DOCTOR
Yes. Well. It does fit perfectly. And if anyone could carry it off it’d be me. You know, if I travel through history around in this enough, it could catch on, create the very style it was designed to imitate.

He’s rather intrigued at the idea. More so than Peri is, anyway.

PERI
Maybe we could dye it.

The Doctor blows out his cheeks.

DOCTOR
Or, at a pinch we could dye it. All right, holiday first.

PERI
You’re sure it’ll be safe?

DOCTOR
I’ve no idea Peri. It could be a death trap. It could be the dullest place in the universe. We might have a lovely afternoon or the worst day in our lives.

Peri isn’t enthusiastic.

DOCTOR
But whatever happens, I AM the Doctor. Whether you like it, or not.

Peri looks at him doubtfully. He glances back at her and breaks into a broad smile and this time she smiles back.


(END OF THE TWIN DILEMMA)
(ROLL END CREDITS)


DOCTOR WHO
THE TWIN DILEMMA

THE DOCTOR Colin Baker
PERI Nicola Bryant
AZMAEL Martin Potter/Maurice Denham
THE MASTER OF JACONDA Edwin Richfield
CHAMBERLAIN Helen Blatch
NOMA Barry Stanton
ELENA Dione Inman
HUGO LANG Kevin McNally
DRAK Oliver Smith
SYLVEST Dennis Chinnery
FABIAN Seymour Green
MINISTER Paul Darrow
and
Andrew Conrad and Paul Conrad
THE TWINS

Written by EWEN CAMPION CLARKE
Based on ideas by ANTHONY STEVENS and ERIC SAWARD

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