The Twin Dilemma Cover

THE TWIN DILEMMA

by Ewen Campion-Clarke

based on the scripts by Eric Saward and Anthony Stevens
Tractators were created by Christopher H Bidmead

"And is this how it ends? No glorious fight, no victory... If we do die here, no one will even know what happened to us. We just disappeared one day and never came back."

Landing the TARDIS at a top-security installation on Earth, the newly-regenerated Doctor and Peri witness the kidnapping of the twins Romulus and Remus, famed for their mathematical genius, by a squad of Jocondans who continue their mission even after they are killed in the attempt.

Who is the Time Lord aiding them? What is his connection to the Doctor's past? Why are the Earth authorities desperate to declare war on Joconda? Why is the verdant planet now starving and populated by the living dead? And what is Mestor the Magnificent?

Only the Doctor can stop these complicated planetary events from devastating the universe.

But the Doctor is losing his mind...

Twin Dilemma reviews

"You've done too good a job in reworking the story. Very spooky. Nice reference to the real life incident while recording Planet of Fire. So you don't count Erimem as a companion then? Very interesting. This is building to something good. Maybe I should skip the whole authoring thing and try and be an editor? Creepy... Nice; I like what you're doing with Hugo! Wow - you'd better not drop the ball with this conspiracy stuff; it's developing quite nicely. I like how the Doctor/Peri/Hugo dynamic is building. Neat bit where the Doctor steps out of the revitalizer stark staring mad,except I imagined it played out by the cast of Boston Legal.THE DOCTOR'S GONE CRACKERS!!!!!!!!! Colin would have loved to have had those lines... I could watch this version quite happily. Nice build up there. It's still good for a quick scene, shows a bit of the Chamberlain's character. Niiiiiiiiice... Nice, although it sounds like you're descibing yourself with the Doctor's final line "You missed out God-like, all-knowing and sexy!".Lots of fire in Azmael. Now that would have been good to see, the twins turning into skeletons. Poor Hugo, but he did deserve it. Ooooh... The Doctor and Peri survive, don't they? Don't they??? DON'T THEY????????? WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Awwwwwwww. That was a nice ending. A nice ending for Hugo, too." - Cameron J Mason

DWM Review: The Twin Dilemma!

The Doctor has regenerated, having sacrificed his fifth persona to save Peri's life. But things are not going well... On this occasion the process of regeneration is by no means smooth, for the even-tempered, good-humored Fifth Doctor has given way to a rather disturbed and unsettled successor. However, when he becomes caught up an in extraterrestrial kidnap involving old friends and enemies on the distant world of Jaconda, the new Doctor's disorientation could prove fatal and also could spark off a galactic war...

The Power of the Daleks, Spearhead From Space, Robot, Castrovalva and now The Twin Dilemma, five of the most important stories in the history of Doctor Who - each introducing to the public a new version of the Doctor. In the Dalek story producer Innes Lloyd chose to cover the change by bringing back "everyone's favourite meanies" and giving them Radio Times coverage.

When Jon Pertwee assumed the role producer Derrick Sherwin slipped the drastic change amidst the reformatting of Doctor Who as a show - with his new life at UNIT, and shop window dummies coming to life, the new Doctor was almost secondary to the plot. When Tom Baker arrived Barry Letts opted to bury the alteration with a typical UNIT story. In Castrovalva current producer John Nathan-Turner devoted a whole four part story to the regeneration, a regeneration gone wrong.

The Twin Dilemma was in many ways similar to the character of the new Doctor; a fair mixture of all that had gone before. The first episode had the immediate effects of the change, a majority of the twenty-five minutes based in the TARDIS itself, then the second episode concentrated more on the story proper. The third episode was nearly all story and then the final episode rushed everything into an action-packed climax and by the very end the sixth Doctor seemed settled in and Peri - and the viewers - had accepted him.

Perhaps to balance out with Castrovalva, The Twin Dilemma showed a failed regeneration as a large part of the plot, but secondary to a horror story - despite all the monsters and special effects of the season, the idea of the walking dead attacking the living still proves to pack a punch. In particular the zombie attacks of episodes one and three, the first of which is made truly unsettling by Edward Richfield's psychotic laughter track, and the fact the zombie's victims also joined their ranks off-camera. Coupled with the desperate military figures and panic stations, there was a whiff of George A Romero's Dawn of the Dead, which is ironic as the story is primarily about the Doctor returning from the grave.

As a story, The Twin Dilemma pulled off the difficult challenge of juggling the idea of a planet of zombies, a cold-hearted public relations exercise between the government and the military, a giant and rather squashy slug who wants to take over the universe using only his mind, a retired Time Lord who unwittingly inspired the Doctor's childhood, and a couple of unEarthly twins called Womulus and Wemus (sic) whose mathematical skills are just a front for their true nature. On top of that it tried not to divert the viewer's attention from the new Doctor, complete with a horrible costume and a rapidly-mistrusting Peri.

Colin Baker's first 90 minutes of playing the Doctor were nothing short of splendid - deliberately over the top during part three (reassuringly, only in the episode where the Doctor explicitely goes insane), where he rants and raves quotes from Bob Dylan and Shakespeare and throttling Peri as and when the moment seemed appropriate. But even in his quieter, more settled moments it was a joy to watch his looks of hurt and disgust as his predecessor, actions, morality and costume were discussed. But it's still not clear 'who' the new Doctor is at the end of the story, as his new personality deals with the inner demons the fifth Doctor was avoiding all year. The new Doctor has cleansed himself not only in mind, but in body, and apart from a determination to enjoy his life and explore the universe, is very much a blank canvas. Unlike his outfit, which thankfully is acknowledged as being hideous by characters as varied as an American botany student and a mutant Tractator, rather than being presented as something normal.

Nicola Bryant also makes the most of this packed storyline, credibly adjusting to a new version of a man she hardly knew. The way the plot progressively tore down her trust in the Doctor as his mental state deteriorated, made the final episode and its brutal fight to the death between the two former friends painful viewing, but at least Peri defeating the Doctor is a role model for any young girls to fight back rather than be victims. Her willingness to forgive the Doctor for his outrage is also a nice contrast to the recently departured Tegan who ran off before the Time Lord had a chance to explain.

On the guest star front, Paul Darrow's Minister seemed to be Avon with all personality removed which could arguably be an improvement, and made the beurocrat a credible threat despite the fact he barely has a scene with the Doctor and is at no point trying to take over the universe. Martin Potter's Azmael was far more impressive than his successor Maurice Denham, like Peter Davison playing an old man in a young man's body and crucially lacks the confidence even that Doctor possessed. Kevin McNally's Hugo at first might have seemed companion material until his Harry Sullivan facade was revealed to be just that, with the script allowing more room for character development than might be expected. It's just a pity the brusqe Fabian played wonderfully by Sermour Green didn't get the chance, coming across as some space age Brigadier without any of Hugo's dark sides. The Jacondans (sic) were superb, and deserve a second go - if only to justify the fact there seemed to be hundreds of outfits made, though it would be hard to percieve them as anything other than the "zombie bird people".

Over all, as an end to the 21st season of Doctor Who and as an introduction to the Colin Baker era of the series, The Twin Dilemma was full of flair and style (but maybe not novelty), that puts it above almost every other story in this series. The story alone would likely be remembered as a good adventure, maybe even a classic, even without Colin Baker's magnificent portrayal. With the new Doctor it looks as if the next few years are going to be some of the best the programme has seen, and that can only be a good omen for the continued success of the show.

All it needs is a move back to Saturdays...

Twin Dilemma Narration/Music Clip

In 1989, a series of unfortunate incidents lead to the master tapes of The Twin Dilemma episodes three and four being destroyed. For six months it appeared that the story would be the first of the colour era to be "incomplete", and a special narration was recorded. Luckily, fans had off-air recordings and now, in 2007, the story has been recovered - though the narration still exists...


(Colin Baker is wandering around the MOMI Doctor Who display, rightly acting like he owns the place.)

Of course, I had never expected to see a Tractator again, although there are few places I can think of where they wouldn't have been one. You see, the Tractators, or Sectoms as the Jocondans call them, were one of the oldest races in the universe. They spread out before even the Time Lords were young, seeding every planet they could reach with their eggs. The Time Lords put a stop to it and most of the Tractators were rendered mindless, harmless burrowing drones. One in a million Tractators achieved the level of their ancestors, and were named Gravis.

Mestor was such a creature, but the high level of ionization in Joconda's atmosphere had effected the vegetation and thus the Tractators when they went on that feeding frenzy so long ago. When that last surviving egg hatched, Mestor was the most powerful Tractator in existence - and his powers increased the more vegetation he ate and by the time I reached Joconda he was a demigod. Well, he liked to think of himself as a god, but I always know his sort are overcompensating.

Determined to bring me under his will, Mestor threw his mighty telepathic powers at me. However, my claims of mental barriers were no bluff and I easily held him back. Well, at first. It became more and more difficult as my body was painfully reminded of its recent metabolic change, and I wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders at the time anyway. Nevertheless I managed to hold Mestor back, which was when he pulled his master stroke.

He called in Peri and threatened to kill her. Naturally, I was distracted and that was all Mestor need. He burned into my mind like hot coals inside my skull, forcing me to my knees. Peri realized what was happening and moved to attack Mestor. Caught between controlling Joconda, breaking into my brain and coordinating the attack on the Earth ships, Mestor made his move. Releasing me, he lashed out and felled Peri with a thought.

I wasn't feeling much better. A nugget of pure Mestor had wormed its way inside my mind. I threw it from thought to thought, trying not to absorb it or even understand it, but its mere presence caused my very soul to warp and buckle around it.

Mestor ordered me to be taken to Azmael. Not only would he know basic first aid for a Time Lord, my presence as a possible rival and replacement would another move in the complicated battle of nerves he and Mestor were engaged in. And so, half dead and on the verge of regenerating for the second time in as many days, I was unceremoniously dragged from the throne room and poor Peri was hauled after us as well. As for Hugo? Well, let's just say that old Mestor had plans for him...

Meanwhile, poor Archie Sylvest, General Fabian and the Minister were not having much better luck. Their attempt to flee Joconda had been hampered when the gravitational constant of the universe seemed to shift - at least that's what they thought. Mestor was using his powers of gravity attraction to yank the ship back towards him. Finally the ship's engines failed and the traction beam was the only thing that prevented the ship from being smashed to pieces on the ground. However, no sooner had Sylvest and the others staggered free from the battered hulk then they met the welcoming party of zombie Jocondans.

Azmael, meanwhile, was not pleased to see me. And I was not pleased to see him, at least after I'd regained the powers of sight, speech and thought. For Azmael was my childhood hero. A man of passion, belief, recklessness and panache. Bit like me in that regard. Azmael decided one day that he'd had enough of Gallifrey and fled the planet to explore the universe. The High Council, terrified of what might happen if Azmael was captured and unwittingly revealed the secrets of the Time Lords, decided to take action. Remember the story of Verne the Beautiful? Well, that bungled vote meant the Time Lords sent a squad of Raston Warrior Robots to the planet Vitrol Minor, whose loving inhabitants sacrificed themselves fighting the robots to allow Azmael to escape.

And escape Azmael did. He returned to Gallifrey armed with a machine gun and took direct vengeance on the High Council. However, it was always said that Azmael died in the attempt, and his murder lead to many Time Lords fleeing Gallifrey and many more trying but failing to do so. Instead, Azmael killed the High Council (including poor Verne) and the newly appointed High Council worshipped him as a hero. They let him leave Gallifrey and promptly denied the whole incident never happened in the belief it would calm things down. They were wrong.

To be confronted with a long lost childhood hero acting in a distinctly unheroic manner is never easy, and when you're have a giant caterpillar rummaging through your thoughts it became near unbearable. And to be honest, I was probably unbearable as well. I was up and down like a manic barometer, snapping and cooing totally randomly. And those mood swings were just the start of something terrible...

When Azmael and the twins explained the plan to me, I decided to help them. I knew that while this operation could only have benefits for Joconda, it would give Mestor access to temporal technology - weaponry that the Time Lords only possessed and only they were mature enough not to use it. But for some reason, I was happy. After nine hundred years I've encountered many plans to conquer the universe, often using some massive death ray or virus or burrowing the core of a planet out and turning it into a spaceship. At last, I thought, a plan WORTH defeating, WORTH spending my time working against. It made a lot of sense at the time and I immediately set to work helping Azmael.

Peri thought I was going mad and at the time you could hardly blame her. But great things were afoot.

At that moment, the captured humans from Earth were being lead by the palace by a mob of possessed Jocondans. Once inside however, they were surprised by Hugo Lang leaping into view to rescue the Minister and General Fabian. Archie Sylvest, however, was unlucky - his portly waistline may have been the hieght of fashion but it did not give him an edge in escape attempts and he remained in custody. The other three fled into the palace, somehow managing to avoid the searching guards and Mestor's omnipotent gaze.

Things were proceeding so well I, in a moment of foolish bravado, demanded to be allowed a bottle of Voxnic to celebrate. However, at that point I seemed to have found a broken security circuit and promptly fixed it, which showed Hugo leading his two comrades to a special communications centre and opening a chanel through to Earth and lovely Elena. The Minister wasted no time in bandying words and immediately painted the threat on Joconda with all the severity it deserved. And I, being extremely volotile at the time, wrecked the circuit. There was a mild power failure and contact with Earth was lost.

Peri accused me of being possessed by Mestor and while she didn't believe me when I said I wasn't, that act proved it. It occured to me that Hugo's miraculous escape and even more miraculous rescue to find the perfect way to warn Earth was ludicrous. The only explanation was that Mestor was helping them. Which begged the question - why? Mestor may have been insane, but he wasn't insane and certainly not self-destructive. Why would he want to arrange his own death? The obvious answer was that he wasn't. Somehow, Mestor's plan hinged on Joconda being destroyed.

I wasn't allowed to continue my theory. Sylvest arrived and Noma at gunpoint forced him to reveal the Twins' true identity. I've always said the biggest lie of the cybernetic age was the idea that any computer, no matter how advanced, could ever be more powerful than a living brain. And the Twins proved me right. The Twins were not human, but incredibly sophisticated androids containing specially-grown human brains. With this electronic nervous system, the untapped eighty-seven per cent of the human brain was at last being used. Sylvest had come up with the idea and was financed by all sorts - android builders, military hardware, computer programmers... In order to keep the Twins with a healthy psychospoor, a false life with Sylvest as the father was created, but the Twins were developing fast enough to see the cracks.

Noma hadn't got Sylvest to reveal the information out of sheer sadism. Well, not JUST sheer sadism. With that information revealed, the Twins automatically shut down their 'personalities' and became lifeless waxworks. The brains, the most complicated CPUs known to man, were taken by Azmael to the main computer complex to program the generators of the time shift. At that moment, Fabian, the Minister and Hugo arrived. Hugo was possessed by Mestor and with his plan coming apart at the seams, wasn't prepared for when Peri and myself fled the laboratory and into the pitch dark tunnels.

Finally we arrived in the communications centre as power was restored - and we could see the first of the space fleets arriving. Not only was Joconda in grave danger, it looked like Mestor was about to succeed in his insane doomsday plan. It's not a situation I'd enjoy in the best of times and this was about as far from the best of times as it is possible to be. The pressure, fear, panic and damage Mestor inflicted on me all overwhelmed me. Paranoia gripped me and without even realizing what I was doing I began to choke the life out of Peri, my best friend...


It had been a hard few days for Peri and this was the straw that broke the dromedary's back. She lashed out and managed to fight me off and that is no mean feet. She then found a mirror and tried to use it as a weapon and it worked, but not in the way she intended. Seeing my reflection, a reflection of an unthinking, savage animal... it stopped me far faster than any form of unarmed combat. The shock stunned me for the briefest of moments, and also the chunk of Mestor sitting in my cerebellum, and in that moment of vulnerability, I purged him from my mind. The trouble was the effort caused me to collapse.

When I finally awoke, I discovered how serious things had become.

The war fleet was almost upon Joconda, armed and ready for trouble. The slightest resistance, the slightest interpreted hostility and Joconda would be reduced to rubble. Mestor had siezed control of every Jocondan on the planet. Already Hugo, Fabian and the Minister were starting to succumb to the mental attack and Azmael found himself restrained by Drak and Noma, unable to activate the time shift. At least, not yet.

I realized what the answer was.

Mestor planned to offend the war fleet and trigger deadly retribution. However, before the salvos could strike the planet, he would activate the time shift. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object and Joconda itself would revert to protomatter. The planet and everything on it would become a single, basic substance which Mestor could download his consciousness into it. After that, well, the sky was the limit. With the increased mass and range, Mestor could assume any form, perform any feat. He might destroy the war fleet with a thought or simply possess every single individual in it.

An interesting and intriguing way to conquer the universe, and I'd lost my enthusiasm for that particular novelty.

As the moment approached, the Minister, now totally consumed by Mestor, strode to the communicator to order the fleet to open fire. Peri, using her initiative, screamed at the top of her voice. I've heard a lot of things, but my new ears were bleeding at that moment, I can tell you. In the distraction, I dived across the room, wrestled with the Minister and shouted the war generals, "Don't trust him! He said this outfit was the hieght of fashion!"

Yes... well, it worked, anyway. The war generals were not sure the situation on Joconda was as dire as it seemed. Desperately, Mestor flung his mind at mine in order to possess me and get me to retract my statement and agree with the Minister. Like before, I felt his mind smash into my defences. But that now, this is then. I held off the might of Merciless Mestor the Magnanimus Magnificent Municipality just long enough for Azmael to dive into his ancient TARDIS and shut it down, wrecking the calibrator before any of the Jocondans could stop him.

Now, with the TARDIS out of action, even if the war fleet DID decide to open fire, the plan wouldn't work. Jaconda would be reduced to a cinder hanging in space but so would Mestor. The war fleet prepared to land and invade Joconda, or perhaps liberate would be a better term? With the plan ruined, Sylvest bravely disconnected the Twins' brains from the time shifter. Now the plan could never succeed, Mestor was finished!

And there was no one more surprised than I when he conceded defeat.

I knew at once that Mestor was up to something, but then so did Hugo - it was obvious. Mestor's influence was slowly but surely retreating from Jaconda. The zombies outside collapsed as they were returned to their starved bodies. Noma screamed as Mestor abandoned him and the Chamberlain, did I mention her? She decided her best bet was to flee and I couldn't honestly blame her. Once the natives recovered from the psychic shock, Mestor's regime would be the first up against the wall. I suggested that Azmael stay to keep order, while I went to confront Mestor armed with some dury-rigged Mosten's acid I had fermented during one of my lucid periods. Peri was worried my mind would cloud at any moment and it's true it was still difficult to focus, but every moment wasted allowed Mestor to regather his strength and work on plan B.

I hurried at top speed to the ruins of the throne room, passing countless dazed and confused Jocondans. I knew how they felt. Already mobs were gathering around the palace. The hydroponics dome had been broken into and relief from the famine was starting, slowly but surely. Mestor was powerful, but I doubted he'd find it easy to retake Joconda, especially with the fleet about to land. To conquer all these new minds and reconquer Joconda? No, I was certain Mestor couldn't manage that. However, with all his energies gathered in one place he could, however, crush me with gravity or literally blow my mind.

In such situations, it's never wrong to feel fear. As long as you don't let it dominate you. If I'd let that happen, I would never have left Gallifrey whether I'd known the truth about Azmael or not. And, after all, I'd had a life time of being pushed about and this time was going to be different.

It was a long time ago, but I think I might actually have started to believe it when I reached the throne room.

Mestor's calm was ruffled, but he was still using that ludicrously oversized brain to good use. His operation on Joconda simply couldn't succeed. But he believed he could start from scratch elsewhere. I laughed at him - the Gravis could barely move and his actions had presented his scheme to the galaxy at large. He would never hoodwink them after this. But Mestor was certain he could. He wanted me to take him into the future with the TARDIS and then recreate these conditions. I refused, of course. How was I supposed to get the Tractator to the TARDIS past the angry mob out for his blood? I told Mestor it was time to face the consequences, and it became his turn to laugh at me.

Then, having deliberately clouded my thoughts, I hurled the vial of acid at the Tractator. He threw it back with his gravity tricks. Oh well, my biorhythms have improved considerably since then, I'm glad to say.

Mestor began to rant that in penance for my crime I would cease to exist. And when the Minister entered, the only other person still under Mestor's control, I began to realize that while I would cease to exist, my body would be left for Mestor to escape into. Not a fate I would relish at the best of times and to be possessed by a giant woodlouse with ideas about its station would just be too much.

Every other time Mestor had attacked me, he had been multitasking and controlling all of Joconda at the same time. This time, however, every last erg of his mind power was against mine. I put up the best fight I could. But I never stood a chance.

Still, I held him back long enough for Azmael to run in, snatch up the last vial and hurl it at Mestor's body. Before Mestor could react, his body was dehydrated until it was dust. I was too busy drowning in a cloud of green light that stank of rotting vegetables to applaud, or do anything else when that cloud and the chunk of Mestor inside the Minister regrouped and dived straight into Azmael. In a moment, Mestor assumed control of Azmael.

And then, in one of the moments of my life I would sooner like to forget, I ordered the Minister to shoot him through both hearts.

Azmael fell, and Mestor found that while a Time Lord is difficult to control, controlling it and stopping one bleeding to death is far harder. Too busy to stop the old Time Lord from regenerating and thus purging him, Mestor was forced to allow Azmael to regain some control. Enough to say goodbye to me. And I remembered one of the biggest regrets in my life was that I believed I never was able to farewell my hero before he left Gallifrey. This time however, I took my chance and Azmael said that I had achieved what he'd set out to do. In five centuries he'd been to three planets and hadn't saved a single one. Without wanting to sound immodest, I had been all around the universe and saved it repeatedly. Azmael didn't mind. If anything, he was proud.

I wish we'd had more time to talk, but Azmael slipped away in my arms, taking Mestor with him. The Minister was in only slightly better shape. A control freak like him being possessed by Mestor hadn't done his sanity any good at all and poor Azmael was the only person he'd ever shot. The Minister dropped the gun and wandered off, and I never did find out what happened to him. Maybe he's still on Joconda, doing gardening and thinking nice thoughts. I don't think he'd last long in politics, so that was probably for the best.

Sylvest had also decided to quit his career, which had sky-rocketed when his joke book about the square root of negative numbers was taken seriously by the academic community, and concentrate on his twins. The experiment was abandoned and because of all the secrecy, no one questioned the reappearance of the Twins, who were able to emotionally mature. Of course, they're not perfect, but who is? Certainly, they had learned to play backgammon and karioke the last time I dropped by. Romulus is still the louder one, but Remus is quite the ladies' man.

Hugo, with his desire to become a celebrity, tried to steal the TARDIS. Trouble was, there was a bit of queue. Slarn the Chamberlain was there already trying to break in and offering a fortune to anyone prepared to help him escape Joconda. Noma also had that idea and Fabian and Drak were simply there to watch what happened. I meanwhile, bumped into Peri, who was feeling rather caustic. But she still apologized when she learned that poor Azmael had died. I snapped that she had no cause to, but she was sorry for me. It's so simple now, but at the time I was confused and irritable. On the trip back to the TARDIS, my mood had improved ever so slightly, but I made it clear that the TARDIS was for myself and Peri only.

We said our goodbyes and upon learning Azmael was dead there was a near stampede when it was discovered that there was now a vacancy for the Master of Joconda. However, I coldly pointed out that the Jocondans would not be easily fooled by Hugo, Slarn or Noma. Ultimately, Noma decided to run for it. Slarn hired Hugo as his body guard and Fabian found himself appointed to Master by Drak and several others, if only to better organize the landing of the fleet. This invasion would now be a mission of mercy.

On that note, Peri and I slipped away into time and space. It turned out of course that Azmael wasn't actually dead. Away from Gallifrey so long, the lindos glands had atrophied slightly, but when Fabian was escorted back to the palace they were confronted with the newly-regenerated Azmael in the blood-spattered clothing of his old self. The new Azmael was very different - a proud-looking old man with long white hair. A bit like me when I was younger. Once again I had left in the belief Azmael was dead. The next time we met, ironically, the exact same thing happened. But anyway, just as the TARDIS entered the vortex, I decided that although that outfit fitted me like a glove, it would be best to change. Peri suggested something more austere, maybe in black which is slimming...

But when I opened the wardrobe room there was just a heap of ashes and scrap metal. Hugo's pistol had overloaded, started a fire and the wardrobe containing every article of clothing I'd picked up and everything provided by the TARDIS fabricator when it was still working was burnt to ashes. And I couldn't think of somewhere else to replace the clothes, so I was stuck in that outfit. Of course, with my impeccable style and a time machine, I could easily make it fashionable. Peri considered it interference in the pattern of history, but then SHE had all of Tegan and Nyssa's clothes to choose from!

Of course, I never did get round to making this style popular. One thing after another got away, all sorts of other time meddlers - the Cybermen, the Sontarans, the Rani, the Borad... But of course. Those were other adventures. Other times. When I knew for certain my regeneration was stablized, and I wasn't just saying it to calm Peri down. But, as I said to her at the beginning, "Whatever else happens, I AM the Doctor. Whether you like it or not."

(He beams at us.)

-------------------

THE TWIN DILEMMA - Michael Jackson, with Thriller

(The Doctor's face forms in the logo.)

Cause this is thriller, thriller night...
There aint no second chances...

(The Doctor stares deeply into his reflection.)

...against the thing with forty eyes!

(Peri admirs her Vesta 95 outfit in the mirror.)

You know its thriller, thriller night

(The Doctor lunges across the lab and grabs Peri by the throat.)

Caption: THE 6TH DOCTOR AND PERI GET OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT WHEN HE TRIES TO STRANGLE HER IN THEIR FIRST STORY TOGETHER.

(Peri fights back.)

Youre fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight!

(The Doctor steps out of the revitalizer, looking wasted.)

(Outside the TARDIS, the Doctor throws out his arms as he says "Excelsior".)

That this is thriller, thriller night!

(The Twins transform into skeletal androids.)

Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try!

(Hugo is shot in the back and collapses as the Doctor and Peri look on.)

Girl, this is thriller, thriller night!

(The Zombie Jacondans chase the fleeing humans.)

So let me hold you tight and share a
Killer, diller, chiller...

(The Doctor hurls a vial of Mosten's acid at Mestor, who crushes it with gravity.)

Thriller here tonight!

The Twin Dilemma XVI

43. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

The sun is setting here. Peri is pacing in front of the TARDIS, wringing her hands. Noma and Fabian are chatting.

FABIAN
I’m sorry, Ms. Brown. We’re just going to have to make a strike on the palace.

PERI
You’ll kill everyone in it.

FABIAN
We’re not sure there’s anyone alive there.

PERI
And there definitely won’t be if you go storming in without thinking.

NOMA
The Doctor won’t have survived the meeting.

PERI
You can’t know that. And if you run in without understanding things, you can never make them better!

DOCTOR
Ah-hah! A woman after my own hearts!

They all whirl around to see the Doctor standing behind them, leaning against the TARDIS, hands in his pocket, smiling cheerfully.

DOCTOR
You know, it’s moments like that that make the last nine centuries worthwhile.


44. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

As before. Hugo is studying the controls while the Chamberlain frets.

CHAMBERLAIN
Listen young sir, this planet is finished! There’s nothing for us here.

HUGO
Shut up.

CHAMBERLAIN
But this TARDIS can get us away from here!

HUGO
I said shut up!

CHAMBERLAIN
But we must get away from here! Do you know how to pilot it?

HUGO
I have an idea.

CHAMBERLAIN
Then we can escape.

HUGO
It’d be desertion. If my General finds out...

CHAMBERLAIN
Money! I can give you money!

Hugo is surprised.

HUGO
Can you?

CHAMBERLAIN
Five million credits!

HUGO
You can pay me that much?

CHAMBERLAIN
You said you can pilot this ship!

HUGO
And I’d have to deal with the Doctor if he catches us.

CHAMBERLAIN
Six million! And you’re taking the clothes from my mother’s back!

Hugo grins like a predator.

HUGO
I wouldn’t what to deprive her.

CHAMBERLAIN
Seven million!

HUGO
And leave your father naked too? Come now!

CHAMBERLAIN
Then teach me to fly this thing, I’ll pilot it myself.

HUGO
All right.

The Chamberlain sags with relief.

CHAMBERLAIN
Thank you...

HUGO
Ten million.

CHAMBERLAIN
What?

HUGO
Ten million credits.

She considers her options. Or rather, lack of them.

CHAMBERLAIN
...Fine! Ten million!


45. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

Peri angrilly bangs her fist against the Doctor’s shoulder.

PERI
I thought you were dead!

DOCTOR
Sorry about that! Becoming a bit of a habit, isn’t it?

PERI
Don’t ever do that again!

DOCTOR
Of course not.

PERI
Are you all right?

DOCTOR
Do I look otherwise?

FABIAN
What happened to Mestor?

DOCTOR
His brilliant plan turned against him. Became so complex and complicated that when it fell apart it did so spectacularly. Mestor’s gone in mind, body and soul. And from what I can gather he was the only Tractator, er, Sectom, on Joconda. You won’t be bothered again.

FABIAN
So, who’s the Master of Joconda now, then?

DOCTOR
My vote’s for Drak.

NOMA
Not Azmael?

The Doctor takes a deep breath.

DOCTOR
No. Not Azmael. Mestor had a companion for his death. I’m sorry. I truly am.

Noma bunches his fists.

NOMA
He said he wouldn’t abandon us.

DOCTOR
He didn’t. Jaconda doesn’t need him now. It doesn’t need any alien to rule it for you. You can manage it on your own and you have his blessing. You said you’d be loyal to him, then don’t give up on him just because he’s dead. Will you?

Noma turns and walks off. So do the Jocondan guards. Fabian clears his throat.

FABIAN
I best go and discuss things with Drak. There’s a lot to do.

DOCTOR
Yes, and I’m sure you’d do it admirably, Admiral.

FABIAN
General.

DOCTOR
Ah. Well, Peri, time to leave. Unless you’d like to stay here with the others?

PERI
You need me?

DOCTOR
I can’t do without you. And the very least I can offer after this is a trip back to Earth.

PERI
Yes. The very least.

They turn and enter the TARDIS. Fabian frowns at this, then he and his squad head off after Noma and the guards.


45. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor and Peri enter. The others look up in surprise.

HUGO/CHAMBERLAIN
Doctor!

DOCTOR
Yes, I’m alive, yes, Mestor is dead and no, it wasn’t impossible.

CHAMBERLAIN
Mestor is dead?! Then we’ve got to get out of here.

The Doctor nods sagely and moves to the controls then stops, double takes.

DOCTOR
Wait, I remember you, you’re Slarn the Chamberlain!

The Chamberlain pants with relief at the Doctor’s friendly tone.

CHAMBERLAIN
Yes, that’s right!

The Doctor’s expression sours.

DOCTOR
I don’t like you.

CHAMBERLAIN
BUT I MUST GET AWAY FROM HERE!

DOCTOR
Then I suggest you start walking because I’m not taking you.

The Chamberlain tugs at her feathers in frustration.


46. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

Drak stands looking at the small heap of dust on the throne. He sighs.

DRAK
Poor Master Azmael. Be at peace.

A loud, painful groan comes from the floor. Drak frowns and crosses over to Azmael’s body, which is twitching as if alive. However, it no longer fits Azmael’s blood-spattered clothes. Cautiously, Drak draws back the cloak to reveal a balding man with longish white hair and a craggy face. Slowly he opens his eyes and looks up at Drak.

OLD MAN
Hello. You must be Drak.

DRAK
Who are you?

The old man stiffly gets to his feet, looking down at himself, impressed.

OLD MAN
Hmm. Not bad. Not bad at all. Is there a mirror around here, by any chance?

Drak numbly points to a rather dirty hexagonal mirror hanging on the wall. The old man crosses to it and examines his face.

OLD MAN
Yes. All told, quite acceptable. I think I’m going to like this.

DRAK
Who are you? Where’s Master Azmael? The Time Lord?

The old man glances at Drak in mild surprise.

OLD MAN
You ask me that, Drak? Don’t you recognize me, friend?

DRAK
I’ve never seen you before in my life.

Behind them, Fabian and the others enter the throne room. The duo pay them no heed.

OLD MAN
I thought it would be quite obvious. Allow me to introduce myself. You are the new Master of Joconda and I... I am the new Azmael!

He smiles. And, at last understanding, Drak smiles back.


33. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor moves around the console, programming it while the others watch on.

DOCTOR
Well, Commander Lang...

HUGO
Liuetenant!

DOCTOR
...are you going to join the campaign to take up presidency of the planet?

Hugo is surprised and delighted.

HUGO
What? You think they’d take me?

DOCTOR
You’re not a Jocondan, which is always half the battle. And you don’t need to be a good hero to be a good ruler, which suits you. Unfortunately, the Jocondans aren’t fools and easily see through hollow promises and misguided leadership, so your bullying and deciet might get you to the top but it won’t keep you there.

HUGO
Are you inferring something?

The Doctor grins wickedly.

DOCTOR
No, I’m implying something. YOU are the one inferring it.

Peri steps between them, a peacemaker.

PERI
I’m sorry, he never used to be so rude.

DOCTOR
So, LIUETENANT, you still fancy high office? If not...

The Doctor indicates the open doors.

DOCTOR
All aboard who’s going aboard.

The Chamberlain turns to Peri desperately.

CHAMBERLAIN
Please save me. They’ll kill me if I stay here!

HUGO
No they won’t.

CHAMBERLAIN
Why not?

HUGO
If you’ve got ten million credits to spend on bribery, then you’d pay serious money for someone to keep you alive.

DOCTOR
And, if nothing else, he’s good with a gun.

The Chamberlain runs a hand through her feathers.

CHAMBERLAIN
All right. Done. You be my bodyguard!

Hugo draws his gun.

HUGO
Only had to ask.

PERI
Well, don’t you want to go back to Earth?

HUGO
It’ll be a while before I’m officially alive and I get more cash out of Slarn than I ever could on Earth. I’ve got nothing there.

DOCTOR
That I can believe.

Hugo glares at him, but the Doctor is already setting controls. He turns to Peri and smiles.

HUGO
It was nice to have met you, no matter how strange the circumstances.

They shake hands.

PERI
Good luck.

Hugo nods and waves the gun at the Chamberlain.

CHAMBERLAIN
I am your employer, you know! I deserve some respect!

HUGO
Well, I could always run for Master of Joconda...

CHAMBERLAIN
Oh, all right!

HUGO
Oi. Move. Go on.

The duo walk out the doors. Peri follows to see them off. Before she can, however, the Doctor slams down the door lever. The portal shut before she can go through.

PERI
Hey!

DOCTOR
We’re leaving and believe me when I say it’s far healthier to have the doors closed.


47. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

Hugo and the Chamberlain emerge from the TARDIS when the doors slam shut and in moments the time machine has taken off. The Chamberlain jumps slightly in fear at the abrupt departure, but Hugo just blinks and watches it go.

HUGO
Didn’t see that one coming.

He turns to the Chamberlain and waves the gun.

HUGO
Come on, let’s get moving.


48. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor is operating controls with surprising intensity. Peri stands by the doors, glaring across at the Doctor. As he is facing away from her, it has no effect.

PERI
Did you have to be so rude?

The Doctor looks up as if he’s forgotten she’s there. He definitely doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

DOCTOR
To whom?

PERI
Everyone! You could at least have said goodbye.

DOCTOR
Why bother? I’m going back there.

PERI
When?

DOCTOR
Oh, later. But I liked Joconda. It’ll be nice to visit it in its prime.

PERI
And that’s why you didn’t say goodbye?

DOCTOR
Yes.

PERI
You pedant!

The Doctor rolls his eyes and mutters to himself

DOCTOR
Primates.

He heads for the internal door.

PERI
Are you having another of your fits?

DOCTOR
What gives you that idea?

PERI
Azmael. Finding him alive really shook you up. If he died...

The Doctor glances at her.

DOCTOR
You might find it hard to believe this, but I am fully recovered – AND stabilized.

PERI
Then I suggest you take a crash course in manners!

DOCTOR
You seem to forget, Peri, that I am not only from another culture but another planet. I am in your terms an alien. I am therefore bound to have different values and customs.

PERI
You were polite enough before you changed!

DOCTOR
Ah, but at a cost! I was stuck in a repressed behavior pattern, I was on the verge of becoming neurotic.

PERI
We all have to repress our feeling sometimes, and you should get back into the habit.

DOCTOR
Before abandoning me forever, I would suggest you wait a little while. I’m not quite as disagreeable as you might think.

Peri lets the hurt enter her voice.

PERI
You tried to kill me today.

The Doctor closes his eyes.

DOCTOR
But I didn’t did I? I had more than enough self control to let you go.

PERI
After I beat you senseless.

The Doctor opens his eyes and beams at her. She remains grim.

DOCTOR
Well, if THAT’S how you want to interpret what happened, it’s fine with me.

PERI
You’re saying you were in control all along?

The Doctor stops smiling.

DOCTOR
No. But you helped snap me out of it. You saved my soul.

Peri nods.

PERI
You saved my life.

DOCTOR
Now we’re even. Do you want to go home?

PERI
What? Really?

DOCTOR
Yes. Jocodnda in 2300 to Earth 1984, a trip of a few moments in this old TARDIS. Just have to head for the Bronx, or maybe just downtown New York and you’re a train ride from home. Unless of course you want to pick up where you left off on Lanzarote?

PERI
And what will you do once I’m gone?

DOCTOR
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a leaf out of Azmael’s book, head for Titan 3 and cleanse my mind. Self-abnegation in that hellish wilderness in some utterly comfortless hermitage will allow plenty of time for contemplation and repenting.

PERI
Really?

DOCTOR
No, not really. It’s not really me. Peri, you and I have to forget how I used to be, and learn to accept what I am now – a Time Lord, a man of science, of temperament, of PASSION...

PERI
And a very loud voice.

DOCTOR
That too! But inside, I’m a peaceful person, you know that. On occasion, perhaps, I appear to be all noise and bluster. And it is ONLY bluster. You’ve got nothing to fear. You’re quite safe.

PERI
Giant mind-swapping slugs permitting?

DOCTOR
That goes without saying.

Gently he takes her hands and looks deep into her eyes.

DOCTOR
You will stay, won’t you?

Peri avoids his gaze, thinking.

PERI
Well, it’s either this or study for the next three months... All right, I’ll stay. But there are conditions!

DOCTOR
Anything you say, Peri! And to cement our new understanding, we shall start by taking a surprise holiday.

He crosses to the console and starts re-setting controls.

PERI
B-but we haven’t discussed my proviso for staying!

DOCTOR
I agree to everything!

Peri laughs.

PERI
Then the first thing you can do is get out of that outfit and into some proper clothes.

The Doctor frowns, as if wondering what she’s talking about. He twigs.

DOCTOR
Oh, yes, of course. Pity.

PERI
Something black maybe, something sauve – a black suit maybe...

DOCTOR
That tailor on Vesta 95 should be very very worried next time I visit.

So saying, he crosses to the internal door, opens it and walks out.


49. INT. TARDIS CORRIDOR (DAY)

Peri follows him.

PERI
So we’re not going to Vesta 95 then.

DOCTOR
No, I’ve gone right off the idea. We’re going to a land of rolling hills and green meadows – a change from all the bleakness on Joconda and Androzani Minor.

PERI
Does this land have a name?

The Doctor reaches the door to the wardrobe and opens it.

DOCTOR
That is the...

He trails off.

DOCTOR
...surprise.


50. INT. TARDIS WARDROBE (DAY)

The room is a wreck. A fire has swept through the place. Several roundels are missing exposing the circuitry within. The warped metal racks and hangers are surrounded by blackened scraps. Soot is everywhere and a few fires are burning.

DOCTOR
What happened to my wardrobe?!

Peri nudges a small fire with her toe, and picks up a gun-shaped lump of charcoal.

PERI
This was Hugo’s gun. I think that paper clip did more damage that you thought.

DOCTOR
It must have exploded and set fire to all the clothes. All of them! Every single one! Clothes from all sort of planets all throughout history! I’ll never be able to replace them all – even if the fabricator booth was still working!

PERI
What’s that mean?

DOCTOR
I’m stuck in this costume until I can find a decent tailor and bulk bill.

PERI
Well, I’m sure...

DOCTOR
It’s all right for you, Peri. You’ve got Tegan’s room all full of her spare clothes! And Nyssa’s. What about me? The only clothes available are a few moth eaten kilts and a sporran! Well, sorry, Peri, the holiday’s off until we restock.

PERI
Does we have to? I mean... the outfit isn’t that bad... I think.

DOCTOR
Yes. Well. It does fit perfectly. And if anyone could carry it off it’d be me. You know, if I travel through history around in this enough, it could catch on, create the very style it was designed to imitate.

He’s rather intrigued at the idea. More so than Peri is, anyway.

PERI
Maybe we could dye it.

The Doctor blows out his cheeks.

DOCTOR
Or, at a pinch we could dye it. All right, holiday first.

PERI
You’re sure it’ll be safe?

DOCTOR
I’ve no idea Peri. It could be a death trap. It could be the dullest place in the universe. We might have a lovely afternoon or the worst day in our lives.

Peri isn’t enthusiastic.

DOCTOR
But whatever happens, I AM the Doctor. Whether you like it, or not.

Peri looks at him doubtfully. He glances back at her and breaks into a broad smile and this time she smiles back.

(END OF THE TWIN DILEMMA)
(ROLL END CREDITS)

DOCTOR WHO
THE TWIN DILEMMA

THE DOCTOR Colin Baker
PERI Nicola Bryant
AZMAEL Martin Potter/Maurice Denham
THE MASTER OF JACONDA Edwin Richfield
CHAMBERLAIN Helen Blatch
NOMA Barry Stanton
ELENA Dione Inman
HUGO LANG Kevin McNally
DRAK Oliver Smith
SYLVEST Dennis Chinnery
FABIAN Seymour Green
MINISTER Paul Darrow
and
Andrew Conrad and Paul Conrad
THE TWINS

Written by EWEN CAMPION CLARKE
Based on ideas by ANTHONY STEVENS and ERIC SAWARD

The Twin Dilemma XV

28. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Fabian has reentered the room. He has been talking to Drak for a while. Sylvest is still holding his head in his hands and Noma is staring miserably into space.

FABIAN
...and so once we’ve distributed rations, we can start some terraforming on your continents. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be quick. But I can do what’s needed faster and safer if I had some of your people to help me.

DRAK
I.. I’d be... honoured...

FABIAN
No doubt but you’re still ill. You need time to recover, and that’s time I don’t have. Do you know where any of your people could be, ideally those not possessed by Mestor, friendly to strangers and not on the point of collapse?

Azmael leaves the TARDIS.

AZMAEL
Noma should be recovered by now.

Having no history with Noma, Fabian turns briskly to face the dejected Jocondan.

FABIAN
Well?

NOMA
What?

FABIAN
I need your help.

NOMA
My people will not trust me. They might kill me.

FABIAN
I don’t need them to trust you, I need me to trust you. Are you trustworthy?

NOMA
I never wavered in my loyalty to Lord Mestor. I was certain he would never abandon us. But he did. And Azmael never did, and I always thought he would. My judgement is not good.

AZMAEL
Everyone makes mistakes, Noma. Will you follow me?

NOMA
I don’t know. Will you abandon us?

AZMAEL
Not of my free will. Now go and help the General. For me. For Imon. For yourself.

Noma’s face hardens and he rises.

NOMA
Very well. Come. We must head for the hydroponics dome, that is where the people will have gone. You can address them, prepare them for when the fleet lands.

FABIAN
Good man. Let’s move.

He and Noma head for the exit and leave. Azmael turns to Drak.

AZMAEL
How are you feeling?

DRAK
A little better.

AZMAEL
You haven’t suffered mental domination before, nor had his essence ripped violently ripped out of your mind. Nasty, isn’t it? But it will pass. You’ll recover soon.

Azmael turns and heads for the door.

DRAK
Where are you going?

AZMAEL
To find out if the Doctor is dead yet.

DRAK
And Mestor?

AZMAEL
If he’s still alive, I’ll kill him.

Drak struggles to rise.

DRAK
I’ll go with you.

AZMAEL
Please, Drak, stay here.

DRAK
Master Azmael...

AZMAEL
DRAK! I’m a Time Lord! I’m sick of grovelling so just STAY HERE!

Azmael storms out. Drak tries to move, but slumps back, exhausted.


29. MODEL SHOT

A view of the palace-cum-citadel in all its glory.


30. INT. PALACE CORRIDORS (DAY)

The Doctor approaches the corridor leading to the throne room. He pauses, worry written across his face.

DOCTOR
It ends here. In confusion on a forgotten planet. But it might still be victory. I let events take over last time. Let the universe drag me down and kill me. I can’t stop the latter but I can the former.

Suddenly relaxed and confident again, he strides onwards. The Minister steps out of the shadows, looking pale and unwell. He watches the Time Lord silently.


31. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor strides into the throne room, hands in his pockets, unimpressed and unintimidated. Mestor sits on his throne, antennae waving furiously, and seems not to notice the Doctor striding towards him.

DOCTOR
Ah. There you are. I’ve been looking for you. And now I’m here.

No reaction.

DOCTOR
Long walk and, to be honest, the sight of you wasn’t worth it.

No reaction.

DOCTOR
I’ve worked out what you’re up to. And it stops now.

MESTOR
Control your arrogance, Time Lord.

DOCTOR
Arrogance? I’m not the one trying to turn myself into the psychic equivalent of the Phobon plague, or consider myself qualified to take over the entire universe! If there’s anyone being arrogant, it’s you, you ichthyophagous parasite!

MESTOR
You are merely egocentric, willful and quite, quite mad.

DOCTOR
Takes one to know one. And you are the one sitting in a stolen throne room in a ransacked palace with the entire population of this planet and the largest war fleet ever assembled outside an Olympics opening ceremony out for your blood. You are not in the position to make threats. You never were.

Silence. The Doctor’s getting angry now. He advances towards the throne.

DOCTOR
Are you listening to me, Mestor? BECAUSE YOU BETTER BE! Because I am not having your sluggy consciousness spread all over the place, causing havoc. Do you understand that you pretentious invertibrate?
MESTOR
Be silent.

Annoyed, the Doctor points an accusing finger at the Gravis monster.

DOCTOR
Watch it, Mestor.

MESTOR
It seems that you are not only mad but a buffoon as well.

DOCTOR
You’d be amazed how little your opinion means to me, Mestor.

MESTOR
I assumed that you would be an interesting specimen, Doctor. A true renegade of the Time Lords, unlike that pathetic old fool Azmael. But like so many humanoid life forms, you are totally preoccupied with your own pettiness.

The Doctor gives a scary grin. He’s right in front of the monster now.

DOCTOR
I know you are – but what am I?

A troubled note enters the sillibant voice.

MESTOR
I warn you...

DOCTOR
No, I’M the one doing the warning. Now, are you going to accept the game is up?

MESTOR
Never.

The Doctor turns away from Mestor and strides away from the throne.

DOCTOR
Then take the consequences of your actions.

At the last second he spins on the spot and hurls the flask at Mestor. Instantly, Mestor’s antennae waggle and the flask (bathed in purple) is slammed straight down to the floor. It smashes into a seething, smoking mass. The Doctor double takes.

MESTOR
You forget my heritage, Doctor. You really are insane.

DOCTOR
Worse, I’m a rotten shot. And I used to be brilliant at cricket...

He turns around in exasperation. The Minister stands before him, gun raised.

DOCTOR
Ah, so that’s where you got to.

MINISTER/MESTOR
Yes, Doctor. Now stay still or I will blast a hole through both your hearts.


32. MODEL SHOT

The first of the ships descends through the atmosphere, its whining engines rumbling loudly as it approaches the wastelands.


33. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

The noise can be heard here.

DOCTOR
There is the first warship coming into land. Reality’s knocking at the door and you will have to answer it sooner or later.

MESTOR
They cannot reach me.

DOCTOR
Can’t they?

MESTOR
You will allow me safe passage off this planet.

DOCTOR
Will I? I’m supposed to single-handedly hold back all the Jocondans whose lives you’ve destroyed? And the armed forces of Mars and Draconia? Not to mention Lieutenant Lang whose been dying to kill the person responsible for wiping out his comrades and that was you, in case you’d forgotten. Humanity’s thirst for revenge is occasionally quenchable, but I don’t think you’ve got the knack.

MESTOR
This is irrelevant.

DOCTOR
Is it? You’ve released all of Joconda. You might take it back but there will be far too much resistance and even if you did succeed, you can’t control them AND the army. You need to map out each individuals’ neural pathways before you do anything other than give them a headache. You’ve lost.

MESTOR
And you have forfeited your own existence.

DOCTOR
Oh? Thought we’d come to that. Don’t tell me. One last act, eh? Take your enemy with you, is it? How do you intend to do it? Crush me with gravity? Cause an embolism in every cell? My blood will bubble like a thousand streams? I’ll beg to die and in doing so beg your indulgence and forgiveness? Is that it?

MESTOR
Not quite.

DOCTOR
Good. Because in my time I have been threatened by experts – Daleks, Cybermen, Sontarans, BBC producers, James Burke, he was nasty... I don’t rate you highly at all.

MESTOR
So why do you fear me?

DOCTOR
Because I’m not as stupid as I look. I know what you’re capable of. You’ll never conquer the universe but you’re ready willing and able to snuff me out like a candle. But if it’s a choice between me and the universe, well, I’ve had a good life, Mestor I can’t complain. I’d have liked this body to last a bit longer, but I don’t feel cheated.

Mestor waves its tendrils. It turns blue slightly.


34. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

The TARDIS sits in the quarry.


35. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The Chamberlain and the guards are present. The Chamberlain is wandering around the console, running her hands over it.

CHAMBERLAIN
More intricate than Azmael’s ship. But we must be able to get it working soon...

The guards convulse and cry out, collapsing.

CHAMBERLAIN
No! Master, please! Don’t go!

The nearest guard groans and starts to rise.

GUARD 1
What’s... what’s going...

The Chamberlain stares at him in horror.

CHAMBERLAIN
Get out! Get out now! Go on!

She grabs him and throws him out the doors, then turns to the other guard and bundles him to the exit. The guard resists.

GUARD 2
Hey... Slarn! You traitor!

The Chamberlain, fueled by terror, flings him into the darkness, turns and dives on the door control. The doors swing shut as the furious guard tries to re enter. The Chamberlain sinks to the floor, panting with fear.


36. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

As before. More blue light seeps out of the Minister, joining the blob. The Minister falls to his knees, eyes rolling up in his skull. The blue glow fades from Mestor.

MESTOR
I am now complete.

DOCTOR
Are congratulations in order?

MESTOR
You will cease to exist.

DOCTOR
You said.

MESTOR
But you will not die. I tire of the disadvantages of this being.

DOCTOR
I don’t blame you.

MESTOR
And my mental exercise on this planet means I am no longer bound to this form. I will take yours, Doctor. And while the mobs are tearing this form to pieces I shall return to your TARDIS and start again, elsewhere. When this has been forgotten and no one will know my agenda and or try to oppose it. And you won’t be able to stop me.

DOCTOR
Oh, I wouldn’t count on that, Mestor. You might be able to kill me but inhabit my body? No no. It’s still too fresh off the rack. Try it and my body will shrug you off with ease. Failing that I’ll regenerate again. And if you aren’t cast out in the flux you’ll find out the hard way what happened to poor Verne the Beautiful.

MESTOR
As you said, Doctor: ‘I’m game. Let’s see who rusts first.’

The Doctor is starting to look worried.

DOCTOR
Surely you can find someone better? Someone young, strong, fit of limb, confident, energy boundless, highly motivated. Why me? Look at me! I’m old, lacking in vigour, mind in a tourmail – I no longer know if I’m coming, have gone or even BEEN! I’m falling to pieces and I no longer even have a fashion sense!

He grins evilly.

DOCTOR
But then giant slugs like you aren’t particularly bright, are you. Do your worst!

MESTOR
Oh, I shall!

The monster glows bright blue and a finger of concentrated energy shoots out and impales the Doctor. He lets out a strangled cry, doubling over and forced to the floor. A small black shape shuffles through the finger towards the writhing Time Lord. Mestor’s voice booms from all directions at once.

MESTOR (VO)
YOU ARE NOW MY SLAVE, DOCTOR. YOUR BODY IS MINE AND YOUR MIND IS GONE!

Azmael enters the chamber. The black blob has almost reach the Time Lord.

MESTOR (VO)
AZMAEL?!?

AZMAEL
You were expecting someone else?

Azmael hurls the flask straight at the Tractator body.

MESTOR (VO)
NO, NOOOO!

The flask shatters. Smoke coils up in increasing quantities from the stomach of the beast, which begins to sag and fold in, shrivelling up. The oversized brain ruptures with green sand as the body decays further. The finger of light splinters and coalesces around the black blob.

MESTOR (VO)
AZ... MAELL...

AZMAEL
I never make a promise I can’t keep, Mestor.

MESTOR (VO)
NIETHER... DO... ...I...

The blob and the green light skewers Azmael. He doesn’t have time to scream. The Doctor rolls over, exhausted and confused. The Minister is not much better. The green glow leaves Azmael and he immediately relaxes.

AZMAEL
There. Time to start again.

DOCTOR
Shoot him, Minister...

MINISTER
W-what?

DOCTOR
Quickly!

AZMAEL
You think that can stop me now, Doctor? Pathetic...

The Doctor looks on with obvious fear as Azmael approaches him, grinning broadly. Shivering and feverish, the Minister aims his gun. His voice, however, is light and clam.

MINISTER
Mestor?

Azmael turns. The Minister fires three times. Blackened scorches appear on his robe, flinging Azmael against the now-empty throne where he bounces and collapses onto the floor. He tries to get up but the Minister fires again. Azmael collapses, struggling to speak. Mestor’s voice emerges from his mouth.

MESTOR (VO)
NO... NO... I WILL NOT... NOT...

The Doctor crosses over to him.

DOCTOR
Operating a Time Lord body is very complicated Mestor. Operating a mortally wounded one is even harder – especially when you have to prevent regeneration if you want to live.

MESTOR (VO)
I... WILL... NOT...

DOCTOR
And you’ve dug in too deeply to climb out.

Agony crosses Azmael’s face.

MESTOR (VO)
YOU... WERE... LUCKY, TIME... LORD...

DOCTOR
I know. Very lucky.

Azmael sags, weakened. He doesn’t look at all well. He smiles weakly.

AZMAEL
I always said... I was up to this... Doctor.

The Doctor smiles sadly and kneels beside him.

DOCTOR
Of course. Anyone can save the universe, but only you could do it with style.


37. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Still looking queasy, Drak stumbles to the door, opens it, and staggers through.


38. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

Peri and Hugo appear over the hill, trudging towards the TARDIS. The two guards are banging on the police box doors angrilly.

PERI
Well, don’t you feel better about yourself now?

HUGO
I feel tired and sore.

PERI
So, what do you plan to do now? Take credit for the whole scheme and go back to Earth to be famous and rich and safe?

HUGO
No.

PERI
Oh, are you growing as a person?

HUGO
No, it’s just Fabian will take all the credit, cunning old fox. What’s that?

They notice the guards angrilly bashing the police box and run over.

PERI
Hey what are you doing?

GUARD 2
The traitor won’t let us in!

HUGO
What traitor?

GUARD 1
The Chamberlain, Slarn!

HUGO
The Doctor was right.

PERI
Oh, he’s always right. But we can’t leave her inside, she might take off or something.

HUGO
Can you get us inside this thing?

PERI
I’ve got a key... But, Lieutenant, you go.

HUGO
Me?

PERI
The Doctor said you should deal with her. She’ll be expecting a Jocondan, not a human, and definitely not expecting you to have a key.

She takes the key and unlocks the door. Hugo swallows and cautiously enters, drawing his gun. Peri turns to talk to the guards but they are now paying attention to the sight of Noma and Fabian striding into view, followed by a group of armed TROOPERS (ala the ones from episode one).


39. INT. TARDIS CONTROL ROOM (DAY)

The doors purr open. Hugo enters, gun raised. He twirls on the spot, covering the room. No sign of anyone. He creeps towards the console and we see, hiding in the space between the door and the wall column is the Chamberlain. She begins to stealthily creep around the door to the exit when Hugo spins around and this time he spots her.

HUGO
Hold it!

The Chamberlain raises her hands and turns to face Hugo with a winning smile.

HUGO
Well, well, well...


40. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor cradles the dying Azmael, who is bleeding from the mouth and very pale. He is shivering as if cold.

DOCTOR
You must have known Mestor would try that.

AZMAEL
You never took my telepathy lessons seriously... did you? I’m old but... I’m also stable... I thought that if he put his mind into mine... it would be... like a pebble... drowning in a lake... But I was the pebble in HIS lake...

DOCTOR
There might have been another way.

AZMAEL
Sometimes... there isn’t, Doctor... That’s a lesson we’ve both learnt to our cost.

DOCTOR
You didn’t need to throw your life away.

AZMAEL
It was nearly over... Been away from Gallifrey so long... no artron energy left... lindos probably ran out years ago... But I was hoping to... live as long as my wife did... Couldn’t... even... get that right...

Drak enters, sees Azmael and rushes to him. The Minister whirls to confront him and then, with a sickened look, throws the gun to the floor and stumbles out, head bowed. Drak approaches the two Time Lords. Azmael is fading fast.

AZMAEL
You managed what I couldn’t, Doctor... I’ve been to three planets since I left home... and I couldn’t save a single one... But I dare say, you... were looking after all the rest...

The Doctor shrugs bashfully and mimes ‘a little’ with his thumb and forefinger.

AZMAEL
My only regeret was leaving Gallifrey when it needed me most...

DOCTOR
You may have done some good. If you hadn’t, none of us would have even thought to leave.

AZMAEL
To become a renegade is to give up one’s roots... and I did... Drak? I preferred this paradise, Joconda... but I did try my best for the planet...

DRAK
Of course you did. We all know that.

AZMAEL
It certainly gave me a good life... Many great moments... I don’t regret... a thing...

DOCTOR
Then you’re doing better than I am.

AZMAEL
Had... to happen... sooner... or later...

DOCTOR
What?

AZMAEL
Out...shining... my pupils... Only took... six hundred... years to do...

He smiles, his eyes going glassy as life finally leaves him.

MESTOR (VO)
NO... NO, IT CAN’T END LIKE THIS... I WON’T... I can’t... no...

The black, amorphous shape forms over Azmael’s body for a moment and then dwindles away. In the distance, we can hear Mestor give one final scream. Gently, the Doctor lays Azmael down and drapes the cloak to cover his face.

DRAK
Is Mestor dead?

The Doctor nods, distant.

DOCTOR
They both are. Oh, Azmael, I shall miss you. I shall miss you indeed. The second time I never got to say goodbye.

He gets to his feet and dusts himself down. He looks tired for the first time.

DOCTOR
He walked by himself and all times were alike to him, as they say, Drak. And it’s time that I was off.

DRAK
Goodbye, Doctor. Do you think Joconda can be saved?

DOCTOR
If it’s still got a chance, I know you won’t waste it. You’re perfectly capable of looking after yourselves. You don’t need some passing alien to be your Master any more.

Drak takes a deep breath.

DRAK
No. No despot will get this throne again. That will be how we remember Azmael. And you too, Doctor... Doctor?

Drak looks around. The Doctor has slipped away. Drak looks around, confused.

DRAK
Doctor?


41. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Sylvest is staring miserably into space. The door slides back and the Doctor enters, grim faced and slow.

DOCTOR
I learned something today. Spending your life alone is very overrated.

The Doctor crosses to the TARDIS.

DOCTOR
Poor thing. Battered, ancient and bowed. And now it’s owner’s dead. They do get so attached. If it was working it probably would have taken off by now. Grieved for a few millennia, and headed off to the elephant’s graveyard of broken time machines. I suppose mine will head there. One day. But not today.

Suddenly decisive, he rips out the cable and the door closes.

DOCTOR
Much as I trust the Jocondans, we don’t need even defunct Time Lord technology lying around. I suppose she’ll sit here, gathering dust until she’s repaired herself enough to leave. The question is, Archie Sylvest, will you be here when that happens?

SYLVEST
Why bother? What have I got left?

DOCTOR
Well, your highly inaccurate best seller is still on the shelves. And there are still plenty of Voxnic bars for you to frequent. And you can write your true biography... from memory it’s rather good. What more do you need?

Sylvest indicates the skeletons.

DOCTOR
Yes. I know the feeling. It’s never fun being left alone.

SYLVEST
I only knew them for a few weeks. I don’t know how I’ll cope any more.

DOCTOR
Archie, you...

A small, crackling burst of static noise.

SYLVEST
What was that?

Another noise. And another, slightly different.

DOCTOR
It’s coming from the Time Shifter.

The Doctor and Sylvest cross to the main tube. Suddenly wired, Sylvest starts heaving at the nearest hatch containing the skull of Romulus.

SYLVEST
Oh... please. Yes!

DOCTOR
What? What is it?

SYLVEST
Neural blowback stabilizes the neural pathways! Boys! Romulus! Remus!

The static crackling increases. The Doctor effortlessly flips open the hatch. The skull is buzzing loudly. We can now just make out the words.

ROMULUS (DIST)
Fa-ther... can’t see... father!

SYLVEST
I’m here, Romulus! Don’t worry, you’re safe!

ROMULUS (DIST)
Safe... What about... Remus?

The Doctor opens the other hatch.

DOCTOR
In pretty much the same state, Romulus. Wouldn’t you say?

REMUS (DIST)
Head... hurts... what happened?

SYLVEST
An accident, Remus, but you’re going to be all right! Doctor, help me connect them up to their bodies. I can wire in a basic maintenance program until we get back to Earth.

DOCTOR
I wouldn’t get excited, Sylvest. That blowback will have stunted their minds, I doubt they’re using ten per cent of their brain power.

SYLVEST
Then they might as well be human?

DOCTOR
The military will certainly have no interest in them.

SYLVEST
All the better! The Twin Project is cancelled. And I’m not going to let anyone take my sons away. Now will you help me?

DOCTOR
On one condition.

SYLVEST
What’s that?

DOCTOR
Don’t mention me in your autobiography. Come on.

Smiling, the Doctor helps Sylvest lift the skull out of the tube.


42. MODEL SHOT

The sun is finally starting to set, silhouetting the palace.

to be continued...

The Twin Dilemma XIV

15. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Sylvest lifts his head, eyes red from tears. Anyone not bent over controls is aiming their guns at the Doctor and Peri. The Doctor is thoughtful.

DOCTOR
And is this how it ends? No glorious fight, no victory... no one even knows we’re here, Peri. Or knows what we tried to do. If we do die here, no one will even know what happened to us. We just disappeared one day and never came back.

PERI
I wonder how we’ll be remembered.

DOCTOR
Maybe we’ll fade into history. Maybe we’ll tantalize historians, get them arguing. Maybe other people will turn their hand to wandering time and space and saving the universe. They might even have more success than us. Yes, that wouldn’t be a bad legacy to have.

PERI
Don’t you still think we’ll win?

DOCTOR
The way things have been going lately? Not a chance.

PERI
But you said unless the military blow up Joconda, his plan can’t work.

DOCTOR
Oh yes. Without the planetary assault during an unstable time field, how else can Mestor revert Joconda to protomatter and set himself up among the gods?

Azmael looks up, shocked.

AZMAEL
What? Oh, you can’t...

HUGO/MESTOR
I can, Azmael. And you can’t stop me.

DOCTOR
He was playing you for a fool since the beginning, Azmael. This wasn’t about the twins, Joconda or even you. Just about elevating a random grub to the point he could fight the universe that placed him so low in the pecking order.

NOMA/MESTOR
The universe did not choose my people’s place, Doctor. We were one of the oldest races in creation. We spread out before even the Time Lords were young, seeding every planet we could reach with our eggs. The Time Lords put a stop to it and so many of us were rendered mindless, harmless burrowing drones.

DOCTOR
Tractators.

HUGO/MESTOR
One in a million achieves the level of our ancestors, and are named Gravis. And I have exceeded even them!

Azmael approaches Hugo.

AZMAEL
Well, now I know what you’re up to, Mestor, I will kill you. That’s a promise!

NOMA/MESTOR
You think I did not foresee the Doctor would reveal this here and now?

PERI
You didn’t foresee him smashing the power supply!

FABIAN
How do you intend to get them to fire on us?

Sylvest stands up, breathing raggedly. The door opens and the Minister enters.

MINISTER/MESTOR
I believe this answers your question.

NOMA/MESTOR
Drak. Open hailing frequencies to the oncoming fleet.

AZMAEL
Minister, you’re condemning everyone to death! So are you Drak!

Drak turns around. A familiar glassy look in his eyes.

DRAK/MESTOR
The fleet is receiving us.

AZMAEL
Oh, no, Drak, not you too...

The Minister crosses to the other screen, which lights up to show the fleet. All trace of Mestor leaves his voice.

MINISTER
Alliance Fleet, this is Kel Azlan, Minister of Defense on behalf of the Earth Empire. Joconda is under the heel of an insane dictator with a doomsday weapon primed and about to be activated. When activated it will trigger a massive subspace disturbance. Should you detect it you must immediately open fire on the source from low orbit. Lethal force will be used. Prepare to fire, regardless of consequences. Confirm.

Silence.

MINISTER
Confirm!

DRAK/MESTOR
They are definitely receiving us, both sound and vision.

The Doctor shoves Hugo out of the way and shouts at the top of his voice:

DOCTOR
DON’T TRUST HIM! HE SAID THIS OUTFIT WAS THE HIEGHT OF FASHION!

FABIAN
Now THAT will ruin your credibility!

MINISTER
This is Minister Kel Azlan! I order to f—

Peri screams at the top of her voice, blocking out the order. Sylvest shouts.

SYLVEST
A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE!

The Minister whirls around. The metallic pulsing becomes a rising shriek.

MINISTER/MESTOR
NO!

The tube explodes, throwing everyone to the ground. Control panel after control panel explodes outwards. The communicator shatters and explodes in sparks.


16. MODEL SHOT

The glow vanishes from the antennae.


17. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

The lights are dim. Smoke pours out of the ruins of the tube. Everyone is sprawled on the floor. The Doctor rises, coughing. The others are recovering.

PERI
W-what happened?

Sylvest is exhausted. He can’t care any more.

SYLVEST
Final solution. Basic scrambler – in case the twins were ever compromised.

NOMA/MESTOR
Their minds are useless now!

DOCTOR
Did you predict THAT, Mestor? I don’t think any war general will take you seriously. Draconians rate fashion sense very highly.

The Minister struggles to get to his feet.

MINISTER/MESTOR
I... I will take you over, Time Lord, make you retract your statement.

FABIAN
How? The communicator’s down.

AZMAEL
And my TARDIS took the full force of that explosion. It’s out of action.

DOCTOR
No TARDIS, no Time Shift, no Twins, no Baston torpedoes, no planet worth of protomatter, ispo facto Tractatoro! Even if you can get the war fleet to open fire, all you’ll do is reduce this planet to a cinder hanging in space and quite useless for your purpose as you’ll lose every hook you have to this plane.

AZMAEL
Yes, Master Mestor, what are you going to do?

HUGO/MESTOR
You underestimate me, Time Lords. There was always a chance this plan would fail, which is why I have a contingency plan prepared. I cannot be stopped, only delayed!


18. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

As before.

MESTOR
Slarn. Seek out and secure the Doctor’s TARDIS. I shall face the Time Lord alone.

CHAMBERLAIN
Yes, Master.

The Chamberlain hurries out. Both the GUARDS follow her. Mestor’s antennae begin to wave furiously. Rapidly they glow blue, the glow thickening around it.


19. INT. OPERATIONS’ ROOM (DAY)

The Doctor advances on Noma.

DOCTOR
So, what have you got to say for it, Mestor the Magnanimus Magnificent Municipality?

NOMA/MESTOR
Only that you were a most... unworthy opponent. The next time we meet, it ends.

DOCTOR
Does it?

Suddenly, Noma cries out and clutches his head. So does Hugo. And the Minister and the other Jocondans. They collapse. Sylvest looks around, shaken.

SYLVEST
What’s happening?

DOCTOR
It’s Mestor, he’s... retreating! Giving up all his control!


20. EXT. SHANTY TOWN (DAY)

The ZOMBIE JOCONDANS are swaying around the place, howling. Suddenly they collapse, convulsing on the floor. The Chamberlain is taken aback. Her entourage are not effected and wave her onwards. All the Jocondans lie there, moaning, unable to move they are so weak and famished.


21. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Noma is huddled in the corner, shivering and exhausted. Hugo and the Minister are not much better. Drak is being sat on a chair by Azmael and Sylvest, trembling. The Doctor is speaking to Fabian while Peri tends to another exhausted Jocondan.

DOCTOR
Once we get the communicator working again, you have got to contact the fleet.

FABIAN
To call off the attack?

DOCTOR
Well, of course. But you the fleet will arrive here. It won’t be an invasion, it will be a rescue mission. All those ships have food to spare, and medical supplies. This planet needs help and you are in a position to provide it.

FABIAN
Why not? Unlike Androzani, we might be able to save this lot.

The Doctor smiles ever-so-slightly.

DOCTOR
I know the feeling. Now get to it, fast as you can.

Fabian turns and moves off. Peri rises and joins the Doctor.

PERI
But what about Mestor?

DOCTOR
I haven’t forgotten, Peri. He’ll have gathered himself back to his proper body by now. Which means I know where he is. I think I’ll pay him a visit. Oi! Dev Tarrant!

AZMAEL
Must you refer to me by the name of famous traitors?

DOCTOR
It helps me sleep at night. Does your museum piece TARDIS come complete with a laboratory?

AZMAEL
Of course.

DOCTOR
Then mix me up a vial of Mosten’s Acid. Quickly.

Azmael rolls his eyes.

AZMAEL
At once, ‘Lord President’. In the sense it will take several minutes to ferment.

Azmael strides into his TARDIS. Peri turns to the Doctor.

PERI
What’s Mosten’s Acid?

DOCTOR
Interesting substance, a breakthrough in the science of chemistry – an acid that ages whatever it touches by a unique process of dehydration. No burning or corrosion, very useful for molding incredibly hard substances without drilling, filing, exploding or weathering. It was being used in an antiques racket on the planet Senile Nine, making brand new vases and figurines look ancient when old Vinny Mosten found it.

They wander towards the TARDIS.


22. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

Dim. Smoke curls from the ruins of the console. The familiar hum is totally absent. Azmael stands by an intact control booth. He operates controls. He has a troubled look on his face. He’s listening.

PERI (VO)
So why’d they name it after him?

The Doctor and Peri enter.

DOCTOR
Well, it was the least they could do. When he was about to reveal the truth of the scandal at a press conference, a sample of the acid touched his bare skin. Was reduced to a pile of grey ashes before anyone knew what was happening.

PERI
But why do you want it?

DOCTOR
I haven’t dissected two-metre long slugs before and I don’t think I can find enough sodium chloride to put a dent into Mestor’s confidence. Mosten’s Acid will have to do.

Azmael finally turns from the synthesizer.

AZMAEL
You realize Mestor now has gathered all the aspects of his mind together? That he has full control of himself for the first time you’ve encountered him, and is more powerful than before? It’s suicide.

DOCTOR
If we are perish on Joconda it will not be because of our own belief we cannot win through. I’ve encountered plenty of power-mad megolomaniacs before. This one just happens to be a slug with delusions of grandeur.

AZMAEL
How many slugs have you met that can walk around, read minds and control gravity?

DOCTOR
Thirteen. Next question

PERI
He’ll destroy you!

DOCTOR
Will he?

AZMAEL
You can’t afford to underestimate him, Doctor. He was able to reach across the universe and reanimated the corpses of his squad and wiped out all opposition! And now he has gathered together all his powers...

DOCTOR
Really? How interesting.

PERI
Are you even listening to him?

DOCTOR
You know, since my regeneration I feel much more confident. It surprises me I hung on to my former self for so long. I was too agreeable, too self-effacing. And FAR too tolerant.

Azmael eyes the Doctor suspiciously.

AZMAEL
What is that supposed to mean?

DOCTOR
You know very well.

PERI
I’m sick of this! What happened between you two on Gallifrey? What’s so important you do have to keep ranting on about it even when the universe is about explode!

DOCTOR
You really want to know? Curiosity killed the cat, Peri.

PERI
Satisfaction brought it back.

The Doctor laughs.


23. EXT. WASTELANDS (DAY)

The Chamberlain and the two guards approach the TARDIS. The Chamberlain checks the door.

CHAMBERLAIN
Locked. Why do I always get the dirty jobs?

The guards don’t react.

CHAMBERLAIN
It’s all right for you, you don’t even have to think. I am the royal chamberlain and NOT an errand girl!

GUARD/MESTOR
You are whatever I command you to be, Slarn.

The Chamberlain swallows, horrified.

CHAMBERLAIN
I was just joking, Master. How am I to gain access?

A gentle purple glow envelops the front of the TARDIS, intensifying. There is a clicking, twisting noise and the doors swing inwards. The glow disperses.

CHAMBERLAIN
Thank you, Master.


24. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

The Doctor, Peri and Azmael are present. Azmael is making a half-hearted attempt to reset the controls on the gutted console.

DOCTOR
It was a long, long time ago now. I was in my prime, long white hair, crusty, gentle and helping out my friend at an old, part-time TARDIS mechanics shop. I just went about quietly minding my own business.

PERI
You’ve changed a bit. And not just your looks.

DOCTOR
Oh yes. I was a complacent old fool like the rest, just accepting things but not admitting things were happening. But when I attended classes being taught by Cardinal Azmael, he opened my eyes.

Azmael narrows his eyes at this but does not say anything.

DOCTOR
To see the decay and dull depression around me. To remind me that all wonder in the universe is not necessarily available in the Panopticon archives. And when the Capitol guards slammed down on all protests that we should be allowed to leave Gallifrey, Azmael announced he’d had enough. I never saw him again until this day.

AZMAEL
I broke into this TARDIS and left Gallifrey behind. I looked for somewhere to settle. I found a beautiful planet – Vitrol Minor. It was my home.

DOCTOR
But the Time Lords didn’t accept his departure, despite all the popular support he had. They were terrified some passing alien might find out all the dirty washing of Rassilon and used it against us. A vote was cast and the deciding vote was from...

PERI
Verne the Beautiful.

DOCTOR
Yes. For the first and so far last time, the Time Lords decided to dispatch an execution squad after Azmael. Raston Warrior Robots, a squad of the most deadly killing machines ever devised. They found Azmael easily.

AZMAEL
I wasn’t hiding! Don’t take the high ground with me, Doctor. The Rastons slaughtered every single inhabitant of the planet. It was three days of blood drenched slaughter before they even revealed they were after ME!

PERI
How did you escape?

AZMAEL
The people were good, they helped me beyond any individual call of duty. They didn’t care about their personal safety. They smuggled me back into my TARDIS and I jumped as far ahead into the future as I could. By then, Vitrol Minor was called Titan 3. The most desolate place in the known universe. No life whatsoever.

PERI
What happened next?

DOCTOR
According to legend, Azmael returned to Gallifre to indict the Lord President and High Council – they had, after all, broken their inviolate rules of non-intervention. So they bought their innocence with massive bribes, faking evidence that Azmael was the one who sent the Raston Warrior Robots to wipe out the populace of Vitrol Minor.

PERI
Why?

AZMAEL
To ‘gain the planet’s mineral rights’. The fact there isn’t a useful gram of any known mineral to found on the entire planet didn’t seem to be noticed.

PERI
So what did you do?

AZMAEL
I broke into the Council Chamber. With an impulse staser rifle. I gunned down the lot of them. Verne was one of the few to survive long enough to regenerate.

DOCTOR
The stories say the guards arrived and killed him.

AZMAEL
Far from it. They congratulated me because they were the ones who would make up the new High Council. Just as cynical as the old, but less corrupt. They’d been waiting centuries to get their hands on power and I was the one who made it possible. They gave me safe passage off Gallifrey, saying I was a hero who had ‘magnificently cleansed Gallifrey from corruption’. Of course the first thing they did next was set up an inquiry into how security was so lax I was able to kill the last regime so easy. They were worried someone might try it with them.

DOCTOR
They declared you a revolutionary and a murderer, and any vocal supporter of you could expect severe penalties. So, en masse, we tried to flee Gallifrey. Just like you did. Steal a TARDIS and get out while the going’s good. Your name was cursed.

AZMAEL
Did anyone else leave?

DOCTOR
We tried. So many of us tried. So few succeeded. Myself... Mandrake... the Master as he likes to be called now ... the Rani, remember her? Cargan, Ajon, Plutar, Shazar, Cheevah, Anzor, Madrigor, Radik, Magnus, Vipod Mor, Karr, Damon, Varina... The TARDIS bays were stormed by Chancellery Guards and they shot to kill. Some of us got into TARDISes, some of us even managed to escape Gallifrey, the rest fled or were killed or hunted down... And all in the belief they had killed you. But they didn’t, did they? It was all for nothing.

PERI
Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself! How can it be for nothing! You defeated Mestor, at least stopped his first plan. More than Azmael did! And he’s been on, what? Two planets since he left home! How many have you been to, Doctor? How many have you saved? How many lives have you helped? Made better? Fixed!

The Doctor is looking at Azmael.

DOCTOR
I thought... When I realized I could do things. Change things. Make things better. And I always thought I would do what you would have done. Fix things, make the universe just that bit nicer. See things for myself. Work things out.

AZMAEL
And you’ve saved the universe?

DOCTOR
Once or twice.

AZMAEL
And you want me to apologize for that? That one of my students believed in me to the point he’s done more than even I can imagine?

PERI
But I can imagine this situation. We’re in trouble. And I’m scared. I don’t know how to save the universe this time. Do you?

AZMAEL
No.

PERI
Doctor?

DOCTOR
Oh, I had one or two ideas.

AZMAEL
Which are?

The Doctor holds up his hand and with a magic flourish suddenly holds a familiar key.

DOCTOR
The TARDIS key. I want you and Azmael to head there. Azmael can set the coordinates for home. If I don’t come back, leave without me.

PERI
You think you won’t come back?

The Doctor crosses to the synthesizer and bangs it with a fist. A flask of orange-yellow fluid emerges from a hatch. Very, VERY carefully, Azmael lifts it up. The Doctor snatches it out of his hand and drops it in his pocket.

AZMAEL
Careful! Remember Professor Mosten!

DOCTOR
Oh, I do. Very well.

He turns to Peri.

DOCTOR
Time to say goodbye again, Peri. For the last time, perhaps.

PERI
Look, maybe, maybe we can just chalk this one down to experience, huh?

DOCTOR
Experience?

PERI
Mestor can’t carry out his plan. We can get out of here.

DOCTOR
Run away?

PERI
If you like.

DOCTOR
No, Peri. I rather the fancy I’ve reached a point where there’s nowhere left to run to. I’m tired. I was tired before we went to Androzani Major and to be honest, I’m tired now. I’m not a hero, Peri. I never was. I make mistakes and people die. And now I think that I’ve reached the end of the line. But if it ends here for me, it ends here for Mestor.

PERI
And what about me?

Azmael coughs, self consciously.

AZMAEL
I’ll be outside.

He leaves. Peri watches him go.

PERI
I’m sorry about Azmael.

The Doctor scowls.

DOCTOR
Hollow words, Peri! You didn’t have him as your inspiration in your formative years!

PERI
I wasn’t feeling sorry about Azmael, I was feeling sorry for you!

DOCTOR
How can you feel sorry for me? You don’t understand how a Gallifreyan experiences grief, rejection, betrayal... Come to that, you don’t understand me as a person! You don’t even KNOW me any longer!

PERI
That’s certainly true! Do you even know me?

DOCTOR
Perpeguilliam Brown. Your father died when you were young. Your mother, an archaeologist married Howard Foster, a similar expert. You drink grape soda because you like it, you have a learner driver’s licence, your favorite film is Ghostbusters and several years ago you took up smoking. You’re not as good a swimmer as you could be. And you’re my friend.

Peri sighs.

PERI
You’re my friend, too. I guess. When you’re not mad and trying to kill me.

DOCTOR
So trust my judgement. Go to the TARDIS. Wait as long as you think is necessary, then head off. If I miss you, I’ll just repair Azmael’s ramshackle excuse for a TARDIS. Don’t grieve for me, Peri. Worst comes to the worst, you’ll just have to fend for yourself.

PERI
Guess so. I’ll miss you.

DOCTOR
And I’ll miss you. I wish we’d had more time together.

PERI
Yeah. With either of you. I mean, I preferred the old you but... well, you know.

DOCTOR
I do. There’s nothing else to say.

PERI
I wish we could have parted under better circumstances.

DOCTOR
You come to expect farewells when you reach my age.

They shake hands rather formally.

PERI
Turlough told me to look after you.

DOCTOR
And you did.

He taps her on the nose playfully.

DOCTOR
Now, come on. Time is on the wing, the frost is on the pumpkin and it’s time to carry the meat to the next station. Anchors away! I fear foul deeds are afoot, and something is rotten in the state of Denmark, but that can wait for now.

Putting an arm around her, he leads her to the exit, full of bohemia.


25. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

Drak and Noma are still recovering. Azmael is with Hugo. Sylvest is still sobbing. The Doctor emerges from Azmael’s TARDIS with Peri in tow.

DOCTOR
Ah, Feldwebel Lang. How are you feeling?

HUGO
Half-dead.

DOCTOR
Splendid. I want you to escort Azmael and Peri back to the TARDIS. I rather fancy that Mestor has his sightless eyes locked onto it. They might need help.

HUGO
Why me?

DOCTOR
You are supposed to be an interplanetary pursuit officer!

AZMAEL
But who can Mestor send? He has no supporters now he has freed them all!

DOCTOR
What about Slarn? I know her type – far too diligent and enthusiastic to serve the Master of Joconda, she’s probably made a lot of enemies. When the rest of the people recover, who’s going to next for the chop? Eh, Noma?

Noma glares at him, sick.

NOMA
Fine. Execute me. I did my duty.

DOCTOR
A henchman with a moral compass? The universe can still surprise me.

HUGO
Maybe he’s still getting orders from Mestor. He must be up to something.

DOCTOR
Yes, and the fact you worked that out shows just how obvious it is, Commissioner. Right, you lot, get going while Fabian coordinates the landing. I’m off to have a chat with Mestor.

HUGO
Alone?

DOCTOR
I have always managed alone, Warden. I was born alone. I shall die alone and I’ve also come to the conclusion that it is best to spend the time between those two unfortunate events alone. Do you understand? Now go with the others to the TARDIS. I don’t need you getting in my way, Star Major. Now go. You too, Peri, while you can.

PERI
Goodbye, Doctor.

DOCTOR
Good luck, Peri.

Peri heads off, followed by Hugo who can barely stand.

DOCTOR
Such a nice girl. I hope I see her again.

AZMAEL
I’m sure you will.

DOCTOR
I’m not so sure.

AZMAEL
Maybe we should both have stayed at home, Doctor?

DOCTOR
A long life on Gallifrey or the few years that brought me here? No contest. I might have lost lately, but I’ve had successes. Daleks, Cybermen, Sontarans, the Master, the Yeti... Beat them all, and plenty of others. I’ve saved the Earth so many times that if I have to do it again I might just go stark staring mad... The successes outweigh the defeats, even though the defeats hurt more. Maybe it WAS a mistake coming here. Maybe it was a mistake leaving Gallifrey. I had lots of opportunities to turn back. I never took them. It seems churlish to complain now.

AZMAEL
Goodbye, Doctor. As Drak said, be at peace.

DOCTOR
Oh I am. I am indeed.

The Doctor heads down the corridor and out of sight.

DOCTOR
Tis a far, far better thing I do now than I have ever done. Tis a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.

Azmael watches him go, impassive.

HUGO (VO)
Azmael!

AZMAEL
Go on ahead. I’ll catch you up.

He turns and heads for his ruined TARDIS.


25. INT. SPECIAL INCIDENTS ROOM (DAY)

Elena and the others are staring in shock at the scanner screen. Shot through with distortion, Fabian is visible.

ELENA
Say again, General?

FABIAN
All bar the first few ships are to head for the Sirrius System. No armed assualts are necessary. Humanitarian aide is required on Androzani Major as soon as possible. The rest of the fleet will assist in restoring order to Joconda.

ELENA
They surrendered, then?

FABIAN
In a way.

ELENA
Have you regained the twins, sir?

FABIAN
In a way. The war’s off, Elena.

ELENA
What about Minister Azlan?

FABIAN
He’s forefeited his authority, I am in command. Get on with it, Elena.

ELENA
Yes, sir.

FABIAN
And you can get the President to end martial law, the emergency is over.

Relief is making Elena expasterated.

ELENA
Yes, sir. Anything else?

FABIAN
Get more coffee. Joconda out.

Fabian’s grinning face vanishes from the screen. Elena turns to face the rest of the room.

ELENA
You heard. We better get started. There’s a lot to do.


26. EXT. SHANTY TOWN (DAY)

Far more livelier than the last time we saw it. Jocondans are now running around, shouting, and on the verge of panic. Others are dragging the bodies of their fellows, unconscious or dead, to cover. Hugo and Peri peer around the corner of a building.

HUGO
I think I preferred the zombies.

A FEMALE JOCONDAN (the one the Doctor spoke to in the second episode) steps from a building, wielding a knife. She’s afraid.

FEMALE JOCONDAN
Who are you? Where did you come from?

Hugo goes for his gun, but Peri shoulder-charges him, knocking him over.

PERI
Hugo, no! We’re friends.

FEMALE JOCONDAN
Friends?

PERI
Of Azmael. We helped defeat Mestor!

FEMALE JOCONDAN
You’re off-worlders.

Hugo gets to his feet.

HUGO
Yeah, we’re part of a rescue mission.

FEMALE JOCONDAN
Those ships in the sky?

They look up. We can just make out the shapes against the bright sky.

PERI
That’s it, they’re, uh, relief ships. And this is Lieutenant [LOO-TENNANT] Hugo Lang, here to help. Aren’t you?
HUGO
You bet. We’re here to help restore order, replenish crops and... stuff like that.

The Jocondan carefully lowers her weapon.

FEMALE JOCONDAN
Then you’re welcome, strangers. Is the Sectom Mestor dead?

HUGO
Well, actually...

There is a distant explosion and a loud cheer. They enter the street as more Jocondans run past, heading past them.

PERI
What was that?

FEMALE JOCONDAN
They’ve broken into the hydroponics dome. The others must be about to fall as well. We’ve got to start getting food to the hospitals.

She heads off. Peri starts to follow. Hugo grabs her arm.

HUGO
Wait, Peri! What about the TARDIS?

PERI
These people need help. You can wait here for Azmael if you want.

HUGO
But...

PERI
Look, this way you can become a hero to these people by getting them food. It may not be glamorous, but it's safer than fighting mind-controlled zombies, right?

She turns and heads off. Hugo, annoyed, follows her.

HUGO
When was the last time a famine relief worker got his own chat show, huh? Answer me that!


27. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS

Azmael is pacing. The synthesizer chimes again. Another flask emerges. Azmael nods and heas for the doorway.

AZMAEL
Time to finish this. Once and for all.

to be be continued...