Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Enemy Within II

14. EXT. HILLOCK (NIGHT)

Peri, knuckles white, is clinging to the Doctor’s coat.

PERI
What... is that?

DOCTOR
Peri?

PERI
Yeah?

DOCTOR
What’s your favorite song?

Peri stares at him.

PERI
Are you serious?

DOCTOR
Never more so.

PERI
Oh, I dunno.

DOCTOR
You must like something. I’ve heard Elton John blaring at top volume down the TARDIS corridors often enough.

PERI
Come on, Doctor, you got me that compilation album from the twenty-first century.

DOCTOR
A mistake I deeply regret. What’s your favorite song?

PERI
Uh, Annie Lennox. Sweet Dreams Are Made of These.

The Doctor assumes a mock shocked expression.

DOCTOR
Well, I never.

PERI
What? It’s a great song.

The Doctor shakes his head in disbelief.

DOCTOR
It is? Oh, well, who am I to disagree?

PERI
Exactly.

DOCTOR
You travel the world and the seven seas... Everybody is looking for something.

Peri smirks and laughs. The Doctor grins and takes her arm. They head down the hill.

DOCTOR
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you

PERI
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Peri joins in, laughing as she sings. All’s right with the world.

PERI
Hold your head up!

DOCTOR
Movin’ on!

PERI
Keep your head up!

DOCTOR
Movin’ on!

PERI
Hold your head up!

DOCTOR
Movin’ on!

PERI
Keep your head up!

DOCTOR
Movin’ on!

Peri ‘lah-lahs’ the musical riff.


15. THE BEYOND

The thing is silent and we dimly hear the Doctor and Peri singing. It rests its malformed head against a wall and grumbles to itself as if disappointed.


16. EXT. OUTSIDE THE MANOR (NIGHT)

The Doctor and Peri, singing happily, gross the brittle gravel up towards the front steps. Peri does a light twirl as they reach the steps, troubles forgotten.

PERI
Sweet dreams are made of these

DOCTOR
Who am I to disagree?

DOCTOR/PERI
I travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something.

The Doctor raps on the door and stands back. Peri continues to hum the tune as there is a loud creaking as the door begins to open.

DOCTOR
Best smile, Peri. First impressions are ever so important.

PERI
Gotcha.

DOCTOR
And don’t be anachronistic.

PERI
Sorry, pater. What about your bally clothes toodle pip?

The Doctor arches an eyebrow in disapproval.

DOCTOR
Peri... He walked by himself, and all times were alike to him.

The door is open enough to reveal PASCOE – a medium sized, stout man with receding hair dressed in a tuxedo. He has a permanent mutinous expression and a contemptuous sneer in his mannered voice. He smiles oh so insincerely at the duo.

PASCOE
Yes?

DOCTOR
Good evening, we’d like to speak to the master of the house, wouldn’t we, Peri?

PERI
Yes. Very urgently.

Pascoe glances at them, clearly unimpressed.

DOCTOR
It is a pressing matter, sir, so if you’d be kind enough to let us into the warm, we’d greatly appreciate that. I’m sure you thrive on such appreciation.

Pascoe blinks a slow, lizard-like blink.

PASCOE
Of course sir. Madam. Please, come inside.

He steps back, opening the door wider and allowing them access. The Doctor turns and indicates with a flourish that Peri should enter. She grins back at him and mock-curtsies before entering. The Doctor follows. The door swings shut solidly. A moment establishing the lonely estate. The noise chuckles again.


17. INT. HALLWAY (NIGHT)

Pascoe leads the Doctor and Peri down the hallway. It is wide with fine paintings and various objects such as guns, spears, masks and statues on the walls. There are several well-tended plants. It nevertheless is quiet and seemingly deserted.

DOCTOR
Yes, well, down to introduction. I am usually referred to as the Doctor and this is my young protégé, Perpugiliam Brown, but feel free to call her Peri.

No response.

PERI
It’s a lovely manner house you have here, Mister...?

PASCOE
Pascoe, madam.

PERI
Right.

DOCTOR
Just Pascoe, or do you have a first name?

Pascoe glances at them suspiciously.

PASCOE
Simon.

PERI
That’s a nice name.

PASCOE
Familiarity is not encouraged in polite society. Madam.

DOCTOR
Oh, don’t mind her, Simon, we’re anarchists at heart.

PASCOE
The master of the house would prefer dignified respect.

DOCTOR
Yes, who is the master? We’re a little out of touch.

PASCOE
Colonel Ian Fforde-Jones, sir.

DOCTOR
Not THE Colonel Fforde-Jones!

PASCOE
I believe so, sir.

They pause by the sweeping staircase heading up to the upper level. We can make out the legs of someone standing on the landing, but are focussed on the Doctor and Peri, who are exchanging sotto voce.

PERI
So, who is this Colonel?

DOCTOR
No idea.

PERI
You haven’t met him?

DOCTOR
Never. Just trying to sound impressed. Always helps in these situations.

PERI
Does it? I mean really?

DOCTOR
Only one way to find out.

They follow Pascoe over to a set of double doors.

PASCOE
The Colonel and his family are relaxing after their evening meal.

PERI
Typical! We missed dinner!

DOCTOR
Oh, I’m sure we’ve saved the cooking staff from all that extra work. They have enough to worry about, don’t they, Simon?

Pascoe doesn’t look at them.

PASCOE
So it appears, sir.

He pushes open the doors. We now see that the area is deserted bar the trio. There is no one at the top of the stairs.

PASCOE
Colonel Fforde-Jones, sir? Miss Peri Brown and... her Doctor... are here to see you, sir.

Pascoe stands to one side, allowing them to enter. The Doctor smiles and through gritted teeth whispers to Peri.

DOCTOR
Best foot forward.

They enter.


18. INT. DRAWING ROOM (NIGHT)

Matching the furnishings outside, the room is opulent. Thick rugs cover the floor, there are portraits on the wall and a roaring fire burns in the fireplace. The occupants are sitting or standing nearby, as if eager to get the heat. They are: the COLONEL, a stout man in his late fifties with receding white hair and a handlebar moustache, sitting in a chair, reading a book; THEODORE, a red-bearded man of about thirty standing apart from the others with a perpetual preoccupied air; EMILY, his younger, pleasant wife; MAURICE, a smug prat in his mid-twenties, admiring his reflection in the mirror; and TRACEY, a careworn, quiet woman. All bar Maurice turns their attention to the newcomers.

DOCTOR
Good evening everyone. I must apologize for the abrupt arrival, but needs must.

COLONEL
Do they?

Pascoe enters and closes the doors behind him.

COLONEL
Er, ‘Doctor’ was it? What can we do for you?

DOCTOR
Oh, just a little shelter from the cold. My friend and I got lost in the dark and this was the first sign of life we’ve come across on the moors.

THEODORE
Not surprising. The nearest town is three miles away.

Peri glares at him, not soothed by his blunt tone.

PERI
Then we were VERY lucky to get here so soon.

Hearing a female voice tears Maurice from his reflection and his eyes widen as they fall on Peri. He excitedly licks his lips. This is embarrassing mainly because everyone is staring at him as he does so.

DOCTOR
Our transport is not very far away, but my friend and I discovered something rather nasty just over the hill.

COLONEL
What was that?

DOCTOR
To put it bluntly, a dead animal.

THEODORE
Is THAT all?

He snorts unimpressed.

PERI
It was a fox.

COLONEL
Vermin. Probably shot it myself the day before yesterday. Sorry if it ruined your shoes...

PERI
It wasn’t shot. It was cut to pieces!

The Colonel shrugs, already drifting back to his book.

COLONEL
Well, it can’t have been me. No point wasting good steel on that vermin.

DOCTOR
That is reassuring. My point is that all the signs are that someone attacked an unsuspecting fox, killed it and then tried to shred it with a knife. Hardly the act of another animal or a sane man, wouldn’t you say?

EMILY
What are saying? There’s some kind of maniac in the woods?

DOCTOR
It is a possibility, yes.

MAURICE
And you came to warn us?

Maurice directs this entirely to Peri.

PERI
Yeah. We did.

MAURICE
A colonial! How... exotic! My name’s Maurice, Maurice Fforde-Jones. And yours?

PERI
Peri. Peri Brown.

TRACEY
While introductions are being made, I’m Tracey Thedmoore.

THEODORE
I am Theodore Fforde-Jones. This is my wife.

EMILY
Emily.

The Doctor takes her hand and kisses it.

DOCTOR
Enchanté. I’m the Doctor.

EMILY
Doctor...?

DOCTOR
Just the Doctor. Yes, I really must emphasize how serious this is. This is the only source of warmth, food, light for three miles. Well, I say warmth. It’s not particularly warm in here.

TRACEY
I know. That fire is barely reaching us.

The Doctor tries to keep focussed, but is still distracted by this news.

DOCTOR
Odd. Anyway, to return to my point, this is a likely target for this blackguard to aim for. It’s best that we’re all warned.

COLONEL
And if this... blackguard arrived, what would he do?

EMILY
The same thing he did to the fox?

THEODORE
Or maybe he’d lie. Say he was a lost traveler?

DOCTOR
A lost traveler who then warns you you’re all in danger and then puts you on your guard by making you all suspicious?

COLONEL
A double bluff? If he is some sort of madman, he might make a mistake.

PERI
Look, can you afford to take the risk?

COLONEL
Easily. My armory is the finest in the county. If this wandering lunatic tries to get in, he’ll be blown to Kingdom Come – as will you, sir, if I think you’re a danger.

A long pause. The Colonel returns to his book, the matter forgotten.

DOCTOR
Well, that seems to be that.

Peri turns to Tracey and whispers.

PERI
Is he always like this?

TRACEY
Most of the time. Don’t worry, my dears, we’re quite safe in here.


19. INT. HALLWAY (NIGHT)

Outside the door, we pull back to see the strangely static figure that we saw earlier in the forest, on the hill and on the balcony. We can make out smart, fashionable clothes and short, slicked back hair of a man, but nothing else can be told from behind. He raises his bunched, trembling fists towards his face, and then seems to bury his head in his hand. The horrible voice gurgles and laughs.


19. THE BEYOND

The twisted demonic face contorts in time with the laughter.


20. INT. DRAWING ROOM (NIGHT)

As before. The Doctor is peering out a window, as if trying to locate the source of the laughter as it fades to silence. Tracey appears behind him.

TRACEY
Um. Doctor?

She startles him. The Doctor closes his eyes, controlling his nerves.

DOCTOR
Yes?

TRACEY
I’m sorry if I startled you. Do you happen to know the time?

The Doctor chuckles.

DOCTOR
So many answers to that. But, no, I’m afraid not, my watch has stopped.

TRACEY
Yours as well?

A pause. The family exchanges looks.

PERI
‘As well’?

THEODORE
My watch as stopped. So has the clock on the mantelpiece.

Maurice steps closer to Peri, trying to ingratiate.

MAURICE
In fact, all the time pieces in this house are frozen.

PERI
When did it happen?

MAURICE
How should I know?

PERI
Well, when did the clocks stop?

MAURICE
I don’t know – the clocks aren’t working.

Theodore sighs.

THEODORE
I apologize on his behalf, Miss Brown. The clocks all say midnight.

Peri looks at the Doctor, who nods imperceptibly.

PERI
If that is the case, surely you’re staying up very late.

COLONEL
Late? The sun went down only an hour ago. Well, maybe not an exact hour but very recently. The fire’s not even burned down yet.

DOCTOR
So all the clocks seem to have raced forward to midnight and simply... stopped. Does this happen often?

COLONEL
Never. You think I’d collect all those clocks if the stupid things went hayware at all? Let alone on a regular basis. You’re a fool, sir.

The Doctor shrugs.

DOCTOR
More a sort of clown, but I take your point. Now, what could cause all the clocks and time pieces in this vicinity to stop?

THEODORE
Time? Maybe something has happened with time?

EMILY
Don’t be ridiculous, Theo. If time was standing still, how could we move?

TRACEY
We might. If there was something very wrong with time.

EMILY
It could be a poltergiest.

MAURICE
Poultry-goose? What’s that? Some sort of chicken?

THEODORE
Oh, shut up, Maurice.

EMILY
They say clocks stop working when spirits are abroad.

PERI
A ghost? You’re saying, this place is haunted?

DOCTOR
Has anyone died here? Violently?

Theodore glares at Maurice.

THEODORE
If only.

MAURICE
Oh, forget him, Doctor... um, Doctor. Besides, we shouldn’t talk about such matters in front of easily frightened ladies.

COLONEL
The only one frightened around here is you, Maurice! Belt up! Now, if I wanted some scary story tonight, I would have asked for one. Since you’ve arrived there’s apparently a maniac slaughtering dogs out there, and now a ghost messing with my clocks. Is this how you always behave? Hmm?

The Doctor looks distastefully at the Colonel.

DOCTOR
I could ask you the same thing.

COLONEL
You impudent little man. I’m the owner of this house. I might just have Pascoe throw you outside and at the mercy of your fox-murderer!

DANIEL
We can hardly do that, father. It’s not sporting.

Everyone turns to face the now open double doors. Standing there, perfectly still in DANIEL. A man in his mid twenties in a pristine tuxedo, calm and collected. He smiles charmingly. He is the man that has been stalking the Doctor and Peri.

PERI
Doctor, he’s the...

DOCTOR
Shush.

COLONEL
Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, boy. It’s my house, my rules, my target practice!

DANIEL
Ah, my dear Doctor. And Miss Brown. I’m so glad you found time to drop by.

TRACEY
Daniel? You know them?

Daniel smiles warmly and shakes the Doctor’s hand. The Doctor smiles back.

DANIEL
The Doctor and I go back a long way. I mentioned I lived in the area, but I wasn’t expecting them to visit, to be honest.

DOCTOR
Oh, my dear Daniel, how could I not?

COLONEL
You said you were lost.

PERI
Uh, we were. We didn’t expect to find the right house.

DANIEL
In this wilderness? Doctor, your geography skills were never abundant.

DOCTOR
True and my memory is not what it was. Where did we first meet?

DANIEL
We were at university together, my forgetful familiar!

DOCTOR
So we were! Memory like a sieve!

Daniel turns to Peri and places his hands affectionately on her shoulders.

DANIEL
And little Peri. You HAVE grown so much since we last met.

He runs his hands down her arms, as if feeling the contours of her body. We may not notice the way he had dropped a small leatherback book into the pocket of her coat as he steps back and indicates Tracey, who is looking a tad put out.

DANIEL
And this is my beloved and betrothed, Tracey.

PERI
Hi! Uh, we’ve already met.

Tracey arches an eyebrow.

TRACEY
So it appears.

DOCTOR
Yes, Daniel, I was wondering if I could have a word in private with you. A delicate matter about a fox.

DANIEL
A fox? How gauche. Come on, Doctor, we’ll have a drink in the Saloon.

Daniel heads for the exit and the Doctor follows. Peri moves to follow.

DOCTOR
Sorry, Peri, men folk only.

They leave. Pascoe discreetly closes the doors as he follows them.

PERI
I knew there was a reason I hated going back in time.


21. INT. HALLWAY (NIGHT)

Pascoe heads towards the stairs, followed by Daniel, then the Doctor.

DANIEL
A dead fox you say?

DOCTOR
Yes, it’s getting rather tedious.

DANIEL
You find dead foxes often?

DOCTOR
No, but I’ve had to describe it three times now and to be brutally honest it’s not something I prefer to remember.

He draws his coat around him tightly.

DOCTOR
Is there no central heating in this house? It’s at least six degrees colder than the air outside! Doesn’t it bother you?

DANIEL
Not particularly. How about you, Pascoe?

Pascoe visibly cringes at his voice, as if incredibly irritated. But his voice is as subservient as ever. They turn a corner.

PASCOE
The good lord puts adversity in our way to try our faith.

DOCTOR
I take it that’s your way of saying ‘Yes, I’m blue with cold as well.’

PASCOE
As you say, sir.

The voice chuckles. The Doctor stops.

DOCTOR
Did you hear that?

Pascoe very obviously did.

PASCOE
Sir?

DOCTOR
That noise. A sort of... demented giggle.

DANIEL
I didn’t hear anything. You didn’t hear anything, did you Pascoe?

Pascoe sighs.

PASCOE
No, sir.

They begin to move. The Doctor stays where he is.

DOCTOR
Can’t you smell it?

DANIEL
Smell what, Doctor?

DOCTOR
Blood.

The Doctor crosses to the wardrobe against one wall. The other watches as he carefully feels the door handles, then sniffs his hand. He gives a warning look at the others and then suddenly rips the doors open to reveal... Just coats and boots and a broken rifle.

DANIEL
I think you need a good stiff drink, Doctor. Perhaps a game of snooker. You’re highly wraught, aren’t you, old friend?

He gently leads the Doctor away from the wardrobe. Pascoe nips across and closes the doors to the wardrobe and hurries away.

DOCTOR (VO)
I have good reason to be highly wraught, Daniel.

DANIEL (VO)
Of course you do, Doctor. No one would bother getting upset if they didn’t have good reason to, would they?

We stay on the wardrobe. Dark, almost black oily blood begins to trickle from under the wardrobe doors, pooling slowly but surely onto the floor. The voice gurgles.


22. INT. DRAWING ROOM (NIGHT)

Peri crosses to Tracey.

TRACEY
Gone very quiet, hasn’t it?

PERI
Yeah... Was Daniel outside just now?

TRACEY
He often goes for a little walk now and again. To get his thoughts in order.

PERI
He was lucky he didn’t run into that psycho outside.

TRACEY
Very lucky.

PERI
I think I saw him.

TRACEY
Who? Daniel?

PERI
Yes.

TRACEY
Where?

PERI
Down the hill. Near the bridge.

TRACEY
I can’t imagine him walking that far. He said he wasn’t expecting you two to arrive, so he could hardly have gone to meet you. You’re sure it was him?

PERI
No. But I did see someone. I think it was him.

TRACEY
You ‘think’?

PERI
Well, it was a sort of... of shape. A man watching us. He didn’t move at all.

TRACEY
And then he disappeared in a puff of green smoke?

PERI
No.

TRACEY
Then, what happened then?

PERI
Er, well. He disappeared. No green smoke, though.

TRACEY
Oh, that makes all the difference.

Tracey turns her attention back to the fire. Peri scowls at her.

PERI
Cheers.

Theodore is talking with the Colonel.

THEODORE
If they are friends of Daniel, I don’t see any problem.

COLONEL
The boy’s an idiot. Neglecting that young creature over there...

EMILY
Her name is Tracey.

COLONEL
Am I engaged to her? No, so I don’t have to remember her name. He is! Drooling over that American girl. Who does he think he is? Maurice?

THEODORE
One way to find out.

They watch as Maurice oozes near Peri, who is glaring out a window.

MAURICE
Don’t worry little Pug-pub-piglet-lillian.

PERI
Perpuguiliam.

MAURICE
Obviously. This Doctor of yours. Been friends long?

PERI
Oh, about minus forty years.

Maurice laughs sickeningly.

MAURICE
Lovely. And are you his paramour?

PERI
I’m just his friend. A travelling companion.

MAURICE
How... exotic. And just what does a... companion do?

PERI
Make the tea, run down corridors, fight monsters, argue. The usual.

MAURICE
I can tell. Anything else?

PERI
I’m a botanist.

MAURICE
Oh, how fascinating!

PERI
You don’t know what a botanist is, do you?

MAURICE
Dress-making?

PERI
I study plants. Plaaaaaaaaaants. Do you know what plants are?

MAURICE
Oh yes. Er, why, exactly do you study plants?

Peri rolls her eyes.

PERI
I find them interesting.

MAURICE
Then you must be very easily pleased.

Peri gently pushes him away, smiling cruelly.

PERI
Not THAT easily-pleased, so forget it.

She wanders off. Maurice watches her go and confides to Tracey who has been watching the scene unfold with dry amusement.

MAURICE
She’ll come back. They always come crawling back!

Tracey speaks gently, as if breaking bad news.

TRACEY
No they don’t.

MAURICE
No, admittedly, they don’t, but my luck’s bound to change sooner or later.

The others watch on.

COLONEL
Hmph. Got a brain between her ears at least. Still, Daniel’s been acting very strangely of late. You noticed at all, Theo?

EMILY
Noticed? He was the one that told you, remember, Colonel?

COLONEL
Only because he’s too bone idle to work out the cause of it himself!

THEODORE
And what is the cause?

COLONEL
How should I know. He’s your brother, you’re his keeper!

Peri pauses by the door, registering for the first time that there is a book in her pocket. She takes it out.

PERI
A diary?!

Peri checks the lock. It’s loose. With a shrug, she opens it at the bookmark. Her face falls instantly. She flips to the start. Neat pages of scrolling copperplate, diary entries. Pages after pages. Then a blank page. Then a page covered in crude scrawling handwriting, as if in a tremendous hurry. She flips more pages, and the writing gets cruder and cruder, becoming random words scrawled in large shapes, and various symbols resembling clockwork gears. Red ink scrawls out the words THE DOCTOR as if in blood. Then savage drawings of skulls, police boxes, and skeletons in flames and on top of this, written over and over again is the phrase ‘I AM DOMINUS I am DoMINNUS IaM DomINUs OBEY DominUS I AM DomINUS DOMinUS DOMINUS’. Carefully she closes the book.

PERI
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Pressing business.

She turns, wrenches open the nearest door and exits. A moment later she sticks her head round the door, confused.

PERI
Which way’s the Saloon?

EMILY
South side, third door on the left.

COLONEL
Can’t miss it.

PERI
Thanks!

She leaves again.

COLONEL
Always in a hurry, Americans. Have you noticed?

MAURICE
Oh, you bet I have.

EMILY
Shut up, Maurice.

to be continued...

9 comments:

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I guess it was just a matter of time before Nigel Verkoff made a cameo in your serious DW work...

I think the script could possibly be a bit dialogue-heavy myself, but the story is tremendously creepy. Really, I think it's a shame that I already know who the menace is, exactly, but you've definitely dropped enough hints already.

Some of the regular Campion-Clarkisms I've noticed once again:

a) Colourful and unexpected use of pop songs (Quite conspicuous since it pretty much never happened in the actual show...)

b) Surprisingly adult content, especially from an author who's firmly in the "DW is a kid's show" camp...

My prediction: at least one member of the Fforde family is going to be killed off.

Youth of Australia said...

"I guess it was just a matter of time before Nigel Verkoff made a cameo in your serious DW work..."
Hah! Was it that obvious?

Still, one of the sons had to be a genuine loser and idiot, and some comic relief was needed... Of course, if Nigel Verkoff DID meet Peri Brown in real life, he would drown in his own drool LONG before getting as far as Maurice did.

"I think the script could possibly be a bit dialogue-heavy myself,"
That's very true. The next episode slides more to visual, but it's rather hard/dull to write "something watches from the shadows" six hundred times...

"but the story is tremendously creepy."
It bloody should be, it's based on a series of nightmares that drove me to the brink of... well, the brink really.

"Really, I think it's a shame that I already know who the menace is, exactly, but you've definitely dropped enough hints already."
Come on, dude. The Ergon DESERVES a sequel, and teaming up with Meglos is the next logical step.

"Some of the regular Campion-Clarkisms I've noticed once again:"
These'd be the ones you don't actually tell me about? ;)

"a) Colourful and unexpected use of pop songs (Quite conspicuous since it pretty much never happened in the actual show...)"
Yeah.

Wasn't sure about that bit. It was just the Doctor cheering up Peri by singing her favorite song and CJ Mason and I wracked our brains for a song Peri would know, like and would be suitably ironic...

"b) Surprisingly adult content,"
Really? I was thinking it was more creepy than adult.

"especially from an author who's firmly in the "DW is a kid's show" camp..."
Yeah, well, I think kid shows are pretty twisted and violent. And Doctor Who is never more ruthless, sadistic and disturbing than when it's trying to be kid friendly...

"My prediction: at least one member of the Fforde family is going to be killed off."
I suspect you wrote that before you read the end of the episode...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

That's very true. The next episode slides more to visual, but it's rather hard/dull to write "something watches from the shadows" six hundred times...

Absolutely. My view on action sequences: write them as quickly as possible and move on...

These'd be the ones you don't actually tell me about? ;)

Possibly.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right, fess up. Your Revelation has more songs than the average BC series, you slipped a crazy film clip massacre into War Machines, and even in my sript doctored version of Attack you decided "Yeah, the Doctor needs to do a pop song here..."

Doctor Who: The Musical is really what you're working your way towards, isn't it? ;)

Wasn't sure about that bit. It was just the Doctor cheering up Peri by singing her favorite song and CJ Mason and I wracked our brains for a song Peri would know, like and would be suitably ironic...

I'm having a lot of fun imagining Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant (American accent and all!) performing that scene, though...

Yeah, well, I think kid shows are pretty twisted and violent. And Doctor Who is never more ruthless, sadistic and disturbing than when it's trying to be kid friendly...

Ah, right, so THAT's how you see it. I was just curious because we seem to have very similar ideas about the show, but I just mentally pigeonhole it as sci-fi for a wide audience whereas I've noticed you describe it, on more than one occassion, as a "kid's show". Personally I'm not annoyed by the semantics, as I still enjoy the show no matter what it apparently is.

I suspect you wrote that before you read the end of the episode...

Well, yeah, because I haven't read to the end. Was reading late and this is far as I got.

Youth of Australia said...

"Absolutely. My view on action sequences: write them as quickly as possible and move on..."
Yep. Course in this story, which is not based on any already existing one, needs a bit of detail...

"Possibly."
Oh good.

"Yeah, that's right, fess up. Your Revelation has more songs than the average BC series,"
So does the original.


"you slipped a crazy film clip massacre into War Machines,"
I just put a song in to where the original has "stock guitar music no one can sue us for".

"and even in my sript doctored version of Attack you decided "Yeah, the Doctor needs to do a pop song here...""
I was reminded of Inferno at that point, and also couldn't think up any dialogue. Colin Baker wanted his Doctor to quote lots of poetry and stuff from all corners of culture... I just know 60s prog rock. And that hit song became popular during the screening of the Invasion, is kinda about Cybermen, so, yeah.

Any better ideas, I'll take em.

"Doctor Who: The Musical is really what you're working your way towards, isn't it? ;)"
Hah! You fool! You do not see the real vision:

YOUTH OF AUSTRALIA: THE MUSICAL!
WITH DALEKS! AND MUTOIDS!

"I'm having a lot of fun imagining Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant (American accent and all!) performing that scene, though..."
That was a major part of it.

"Ah, right, so THAT's how you see it."
I guess I do. I mean, Season 16 is pretty kid friendly. And off the top of my head I can see a guy getting a spear through his back that spurts blood across the room, a woman left to die in a radioactive tomb, those poor poor campers having their flesh sucked off them, Madame Lamia exploding... and that's just the on screen violence! Not forget the concepts of torture, planet destructions and huge space battles that kill off hundreds every second.

"I was just curious because we seem to have very similar ideas about the show, but I just mentally pigeonhole it as sci-fi for a wide audience whereas I've noticed you describe it, on more than one occassion, as a "kid's show"."
I guess... I just define a kid's show as that. I guess I mean "children's television", as in a show you could put on when kids are watching. It's not JUST for kids, heaven forbid. If you ever see the whole of Round the Twist you'll see it's demographic shifts from "teenagers" to "everyone" to "patronize everyone over the age of two".

I think when I say kid's show, I mean it's a show that can always be understood/enjoyed/appreciated by kids.

I mean, your Attack. The kids may not get the complicated political machinations of UNIT, Lytton at the Cybermen, but they WOULD understand that Lytton is evil and his funny henchmen are breaking into a building soldiers are waiting for him the same time as the Cybermen use their funny slaves to open a portal in time and space. And the Doctor and Peri are stuck in the middle!

"Personally I'm not annoyed by the semantics, as I still enjoy the show no matter what it apparently is."

"Well, yeah, because I haven't read to the end. Was reading late and this is far as I got."
Well, all of ep 1 and half of ep 2 is now up.

Youth of Australia said...

The Doc now sings something different in the last bit of Attack pt 1. A song the Sixth Doctor was going to sing at some point in draft scripts by Philip Martin, so it's borderline canon!

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I was quite happy with the original song, actually, but I guess the new one is more 6th Doctor...

Youth of Australia said...

Guess so. Though, to be honest, I don't know if he'd actually sing it on screen. Apparently the song (Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald) needs to be cleared with the relatives of all 29 sailors that drowned... Matt Groening wanted Homer to sing it in a Simpsons episode, but couldn't clear it...

Besides, all this bollocks about the Doctor being too "21st century" - if you know the pop culture of any place, you'll bang on about it, and it just happens he's stuck on 21st Century Earth nowadays... rant over.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I don't think he's any more "21st Century" than Hartnell was "50s" or Pertwee was "70s" myself. It's kinda how television works, people!

My problem is actually with the "stranded in 21st century Earth" aspect itself. As in, the lack of a narrative reason. For one season, yeah, you could pull it off. For two, with just one jaunt to another planet? No, Russ. And yes, before you ask, I'm a "Satellites and spaceships linked directly to Earth don't count" kinda guy.

(*/rant over... for now*)

Youth of Australia said...

I don't think he's any more "21st Century" than Hartnell was "50s" or Pertwee was "70s" myself. It's kinda how television works, people!
Exactly!

My problem is actually with the "stranded in 21st century Earth" aspect itself. As in, the lack of a narrative reason. For one season, yeah, you could pull it off. For two, with just one jaunt to another planet? No, Russ.
More to the point, he rendered all the comic strips where they DO go alien worlds non-canonical!

And yes, before you ask, I'm a "Satellites and spaceships linked directly to Earth don't count" kinda guy.
I know. He goes on an on it would be impossible to do an alien planet story...

Damn it! Did you need alien landscapes for Robots of Death, Caves of Androzani, The Seeds of Death?! NO! Jesus, you could have set Dalek on another planet if you're talking in terms of plot and cost... I tell ya, it BUGS me!

"Ooh! We can't film in a forest, we'd look like Stargate!" Dude, the public know it's a TV show! They know you don't GO TO OTHER PLANETS and FILM THERE!

(*/rant over... for now*)
I best stop. Soon the red mists come and then all I can hear are the screams...