Friday, March 9, 2007

The Twin Dilemma XII

73. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

The Doctor is pacing up and down. Drak and Peri approach him.

DRAK
Be at peace, Doctor.

DOCTOR
Something is very wrong. As a rule, most deduction is elementary – requiring little more than the application of logic. But to be honest, the current situation has me baffled. Something is very amiss, my dear Peri. I sense evil at work.

PERI
Oh, you think?! The zombie hoardes, kidnapping and space battles were just coincidence, right?

DOCTOR
My very veing exists to solve crimes. I have spent a lifetime developing my powers of observation. Married to my unerring sense of logic, I have refined the routine of criminal investigation to that of a science.

PERI
Oh no.

DRAK
What?

PERI
He thinks he’s Sherlock Holmes! He’ll be looking for Professor Moriarity next!

DOCTOR
You must understand my need to get to the bottom of this business.

Peri storms over to him.

PERI
No I can’t. You’re not Sherlock Holmes and we’re not in Victorian London!

He doesn’t react.

DOCTOR
Even as a child my gift was well-developed. With the use of pure logic and observation I deduced where babies came from...

Peri yawns very noticeably. But the Doctor doesn’t notice.


74. INT. PALACE CORRIDORS (DAY)

The trio run down the passage and turn right. We pan back the way we came to see a Jocondan watching them, silently.


75. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

As before.

DOCTOR
My mother had always insisted that the stork brought babies, but living in a large city I found that difficult to believe. The arrival of infants was frequen but the sighting of storks was very rare. In fact, it wasn’t until the age of ten that I saw my first stork – and THAT was in a zoo!

Drak rolls his eyes and walks off.

DOCTOR
So once and for all I decided to solve the mystery. Word had it that a baby was due next door, so I set about watching our neighbour’s house. Apart from someone called a “mid-wife”, no one else entered or left that dwelling until I heard the cry of a newborn babe.

PERI
No stork either, huh?

DOCTOR
Not even a sparrow! Now, it had not gone unnoticed by me that the mid-wife had arrived carrying a large satchel. She had no sooner entered the house than I heard an infant crying. I therefore deduced that the mid-wife had brought the baby IN HER BAG!!

A looooong pause.

PERI
Brilliant.

The Doctor preens.

PERI
A very clever deduction... for an unenlightened child.

The Doctor’s face falls.

DOCTOR
SO I WAS WRONG ON THAT OCCASION! I couldn’t help it if my idiot parents had refused to tell me the facts of life...

PERI
But if you were mistaken once, you could be again.

DOCTOR
Rubbish! I have since perfected my... method.

PERI
What are you going to do?

DOCTOR
Solve the riddle, of course! Have you seen my jelly babies?

PERI
Jelly babies?! No, why?

DOCTOR
It’s just I think much better when I’m chewing. Never mind, I’ll have to do without them.

PERI
You still haven’t said how you plan to solve the riddle.

DOCTOR
First, we must consider the facts. Mestor, whatever he is, is clearly not stupid. He must now that he has pillaged Joconda and it is on the point of Joconda. So either he believes he can fix it or doesn’t care. This scheme is either a genuine attempt to replenish Joconda or else is simply a placebo designed to distract us.

Peri shrugs.

PERI
OK, that makes sense.

DOCTOR
Therefore, Mestor plans either one of two things – to either save Joconda or abandon it to its fate. In which case, why is he so provocative to the Earth forces? He could have allowed them to land and then, when their suspicions allayed, arranged some sort of trap. Instead he lashes out and demonstrates not only his dangerous powers but also that he is hostile. He then deliberately saves the flagship so there will be witnesses to his actions and thus risk that Earth finds out about him. Why?

PERI
No idea!

DOCTOR
No. I am inclined to believe that the villain wishes to attract all the attention he can and lure the armed forces here. And he would only do that if he were either laying a trap, or so insane as to desire a grand suicidal end. And Mestor doesn’t strike me as suicidal.

Peri sighs. She’s more tired and sad than irritated.

DOCTOR
I can see from your expression you don’t agree.

PERI
Not at all.

She is not convinced.

DOCTOR
You’re right to criticize. What I have just said contradicts my own methods. Mestor’s plan may rely on outside factors we are as yet completely unaware and thus not be at all what I have deduced. However, it sometimes pays to use one’s intuition. Therefore, I suggest...

He crosses to a nearby control panel and begins to adjust it.

DOCTOR
Mestor isn’t monitoring us, but he seems to know our every move. We’re puppets and he is the puppeteer. Which means that he won’t be needing the security systems or expecting us to use them. A bit of omnipotence right now might help.

PERI
Might it?

The Doctor stares balefully ahead.

DOCTOR
Oh yes. Just need to fix this circuit and we have access to all the security cameras in the citadel proper. ‘You seem to see in advance all time’s intent, if I have heard and understood correctly; but you seem to lack all knowledge of the present.’


76. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

This is shown on the hologram. Mestor chuckles.


77. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

The Doctor is adjusting controls on the panel. A screen lights up showing the corridor outside. The Doctor adjusts a control and the image changes to a different corridor. He begins flipping through them at incredible speed. Peri is pacing, finally turning to Drak.

PERI
Is he still Sherlock Holmes?

DRAK
No. He’s been Herne the Hunter for a few minutes, then someone called Musk the greatest explorer in the known universe, then an Apache warrior via David Livingstone. Then he was a robot calling himself Jimmy the Spanish Milkman, then a roast potato.

DOCTOR
Ah-hah!

The Doctor presses a button. The screen now shows Noma leading Sylvest under guard.

DOCTOR
That would be the missing element then, eh, Ivan Ogareff?

Azmael snorts, ignoring him.

DOCTOR
Mestor’s plan is coming together fast and he seems to know every move being made. So why...

He presses the button. An empty corridor appears on the screen, as Hugo and the others creep down it.

DOCTOR
...hasn’t he done a thing about them?

PERI
Maybe they’re going into a trap?

DOCTOR
The Jocondans can swamp them with sheer force of numbers. Subtlety is not needed. No, Mestor let the flagship survive and some of its crew survive and now he’s letting Kommisar Lang there lead them to safety, presumably where they will contact Earth and warn them of the dangers here.

PERI
Then, that must be good.

DOCTOR
Of course it’s not good, it’s exactly what Mestor wants. And we must stop him.

ROMULUS
Stop Earth learning of the danger here?

REMUS
Stop help coming to rescue us?

The Doctor doesn’t even look at them.

DOCTOR
Precisely.

PERI
Doctor, stop Hugo from radioing Earth and Mestor must win! How could calling in the cavalry help Mestor mess around with time?

DOCTOR
Don’t you see? Anything logical is predictable. And anything predictanble is therefore controllable. I think Mestor is up to something quite spectacular. He can call upon the intellectual reserves of every mind he possesses. From there he can chart probabilities and extrapolate trends and calculate the pattern of infinity itself. He’s a master strategist.

PERI
And that means?

DOCTOR
That we’re in trouble.

PERI
You’re beginning to scare me.

DOCTOR
I’m beginning to scare myself.

PERI
What are you going to do?

DOCTOR
Panic at any moment. First thing to do is sever communications with Earth.

PERI
Is this wise?

DOCTOR
Wise? Wise?! WISE?

PERI
Yes!

DOCTOR
Wisdom? I am a renegade Time Lord who travels the universe in a rickety TARDIS with a motley selection of alien companions. Is that wisdom? Of course it isn't! What do I know about wisdom? I should have stayed on Gallifrey, in my workshop. I could have been something. I could have been anything! I could have been Lord President by now!

Azmael laughs.

AZMAEL
Could you now?

DOCTOR
What am I saying? I AM Lord President! I must go home. Too long have I resisted my responsibilities, too long have I been out in the cold. I... I... I...

PERI
Doctor? Three Is in one breath make you sound a tad egotistical, remember?

DOCTOR
I... must... reform! Become one of the team! I must start now! Speed is of the essence... Or is it that essence is the speed?

PERI
Niether.

She slaps him hard. He staggers, reeling.

DOCTOR
What was that for?

PERI
You’re getting hysterical!

DOCTOR
A momentary lapse. I apologize. I’m now in complete control.

He turns back to the console and starts to study it again. Peri mutters under her breath.

PERI
I doubt it.

The Doctor is staring blankly into space again.

AZMAEL
He worries me.

PERI
He’s not himself.

The Doctor snaps out of it.

DOCTOR
Then who am I?

PERI
I wish you wouldn’t keep flaking out like that!

DOCTOR
See it more as a mental stroll through a park of psychic tranquility.

PERI
How will that help?

DOCTOR
It’ll help you relax.

He turns and runs into Azmael’s TARDIS. Peri shrugs and runs after him.

AZMAEL
Doctor, don’t you dare interfere with my time ship!

At that moment the door opens and Sylvest enters, followed by Noma and the guards. The Twins look up, for the first time surprised.

ROMULUS & REMUS
Father!

SYLVEST
Boys! You’re alive!

NOMA
Hold it!

Noma places a gun at Sylvest’s neck.

NOMA
As promised, Azmael – the final component.

AZMAEL
You have done well, Noma.

NOMA
No more than my duty. Now... tell them the truth Professor.

Sylvest swallows in horror.

SYLVEST
What?

AZMAEL
The truth. The truth about who they are. We don’t have time to waste, Professor. I will let Noma kill you unless you tell them the absolute truth.

ROMULUS & REMUS
About what?

AZMAEL
He is not your real father.


78. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

The Doctor is frantically operating controls. Peri enters. He doesn’t seem to notice.

DOCTOR
And the princess and the prince
Discuss what's real and what is not
It doesn't matter inside
The Gates of Eden...

PERI
Doctor? Doctor!

The Doctor suddenly seems to notice her.

DOCTOR
What?

PERI
Are you all right!

The Doctor moves around the console, adjusting more and more controls frantically.

DOCTOR
Of course I’m all right. It’s the situation that’s all wrong.


79. INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM (DAY)

The door opens to reveal a small cramped room with equipment based around a large TV screen. Hugo guards the door as Fabian crosses to the controls. The Minister glances at them, surprised.

MINISTER
Earth standard.

FABIAN
Simple enough to use. Just have to key in the right frequency.

HUGO
Hurry!

FABIAN
Yes, thank you, lieutenant!

Fabian adjusts the controls. The screen lights up with static that begins to swirl. It resolves into the atom-type logo from before.

FABIAN
General P Fabian, security code 0426 oblique 20155 dash 8. Special Incidents Control, Acting Commander Elena Siol! Priority red!

Through the static, Elena’s face appears.

ELENA
General! You’re alive!

HUGO
Hey, Elena, miss me?

ELENA
Hugo?!

MINISTER
Siol! Status of battle fleet!

Elena drags her mind back to the job.

ELENA
Flying in formation they’re heading straight for you. They’ve sacrificed their emergency fuel cells to increased speed. ETA one hour maximum.

FABIAN
Have them go to full alert. The slightest sign of danger, they’re to open fire on the planet and jump to warp drive.

MINISTER
That would kill us!

FABIAN
I thought Earth’s security was paramount.

MINISTER
Only when it does not directly conflict with our mortal status!


80. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

This is shown in a hologram before Mestor and the Chamberlain.

CHAMBERLAIN
Master, they’re going to...

MESTOR
Did you think the human’s activities were down to natural chance? It is a carefully calculated strategy. All is in hand.

CHAMBERLAIN
Master.

The Chamberlain is not convinced.


81. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

The Doctor is setting every control he can find to maximum.

DOCTOR
Mestor doesn’t want to conquer this planet.

PERI
Oh. That’s good.

DOCTOR
He wants to conquer this universe.

PERI
Oh. That’s bad.

DOCTOR
And it’s so simple it could work.

PERI
Oh. That’s very bad.

DOCTOR
But I have a plan of action.

PERI
OK. This is disastrous. But I’ll bite. What’s your plan?

The Doctor stands back from the console.

DOCTOR
It’s cunning, subtle and devious. I call it Plan A.

PERI
Which is?

The Doctor raises his hand to show a twelve-pound lump hammer which he always carries for just these sorts of emergencies. He grins a feral grin, a total lunatic.

DOCTOR
Smash everything!

He brings the hammer down on the console. There is an explosion and simultaneously the lights pulsate and dim. He does it again. Peri cries out in surprise.


82. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL

A string of small explosions run across the connections between Azmael’s TARDIS and the Time Shift. A computer bank explodes spectacularly as Azmael runs across the room towards his ship. Drak and the Twins look around in surprise.

AZMAEL
Shut down everything! Emergency shut down!

A Jocondan crosses to operate the controls, but the panel explodes before she can touch it, a force which flings her aside. A cable splinters apart in another explosion as Azmael reaches the doorway of his time machine.


83. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

The Doctor recklessly, joyfully smashes the remaining panels of the console and crosses to a freestanding control console as Azmael enters.

AZMAEL
What have you done, you madman?!

DOCTOR
Guess then, you fraud!

The Doctor brings the hammer down on the console and the back of it explodes.


84. INT. OPERATIONS CONTROL (DAY)

There is one last explosion from inside Azmael’s TARDIS. All the lights go out.


85. INT. PALACE CORRIDORS (DAY)

All the lights go out.


86. INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM (DAY)

The scanner screen turns to static and the lights go out.

FABIAN
Elena? Elena!


87. INT. SPECIAL INCIDENTS ROOM (NIGHT)

The screen shows static.

ELENA
General!


88. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

Mestor is suddenly lost in darkness. The Chamberlain looks around in horror.

CHAMBERLAIN
What was that?


67. INT. AZMAEL’S TARDIS (DAY)

The lights are dim, orange and flickering. Smoke coils from the wreckage of the console as Azmael grabs a fire extinguisher (identical to the one Nyssa used in THE VISITATION) to put out the blaze.

AZMAEL
You stupid, meddling son of a shaboogan! You’ve wrecked the power supply for the whole palace with your idiotic vandalism!

The Doctor blinks in shock, and drops the hammer. He speaks very insincerely.

DOCTOR
I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN! Plan A worked! Now, Peri, time for Plan B!

PERI
What’s Plan B?

DOCTOR
RUN!

They sprint out the door. There is another explosion on the other side of the console.


89. INT. PALACE CORRIDORS (DAY)

Most of the torches are out. It is only with the aide of the sunshine in the distant windows that we can make out anything at all. The Doctor runs down a corridor, Peri following. The Doctor pauses to get his bearings.

PERI
Where are we going, Doctor? All these corridors look the same to me...

DOCTOR
Use your brain, Peri! There must be a secondary terminal and it’s only logical that Azmael would have access to it – and therefore he’d keep it with his other equipment in his lab. THAT is where we’re going!

PERI
I hope we won’t get lost.

DOCTOR
Oh, there’s EVERY possibility of that! But it’s either this or let Mestor play with the universe as though it were a toy and it’s bound to end in death and disaster.


90. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

The lights are dark here. The Chamberlain looks around in worry. Mestor is unconcerned.

MESTOR
Have all back-up systems activated.


91. INT. PALACE CORRIDORS (DAY)

Jocondans stand to attention in the gloom.

MESTOR (VO)
Isolate the TARDIS subroutines and neutralize until further notice.

They head off in different directions.


92. INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM (DAY)

The Chamberlain timidly approaches the Gravis monster.

CHAMBERLAIN
Will this effect the Great Work, Master?

MESTOR
It will not stop it.

CHAMBERLAIN
But what about the Doctor? He’s on the loose!

MESTOR
The Doctor cannot stop me. His very presence has triggered off a chain of events I have predetermined absolutely. My apotheosis cannot be stopped. Merely delayed.


93. INT. AZMAEL’S LAB (DAY)

The Doctor and Peri enter, the former immediately crossing to the computer and bringing up the display.

DOCTOR
Isolated power supply, I expected as much. Now, to business...

PERI
Why did you go mad with that hammer?

DOCTOR
Because not only have I set back the possibility of a Time Shift by a year or so while Azmael repairs his ship, I also blew out the palace power supply. Mestor’s little scheme with the Minister can’t work now the communications network is down. And until full function is restored on all systems, we have an opportunity to slave the controls.

PERI
So we control communications in the palace.

DOCTOR
Exactly. And with only an hour or so to go before the war fleet arrives, we can stop Mestor annihilating Joconda in the meantime.

PERI
But you still haven’t explained why he wants to blow us all up!

DOCTOR
I might not get the chance. According to this, the war fleet is inside the solar system. We haven’t got an hour or so, we haven’t got an hour and in fact we don’t have that many minutes... I think Mestor might beat us after all...

The lights flicker and brighten slightly. Peri looks around, surprised. The Doctor is still working on the computer.

PERI
The power’s starting to come back.

DOCTOR
I’m not blind, Peri!

PERI
Shouldn’t we try and get out of here before they sort things out?

DOCTOR
I’m busy!

PERI
Busy! You could get us killed.

DOCTOR
You were the one who asked to come with me.

PERI
No, I asked to go with the other you!

DOCTOR
The difference is purely perceptual.

PERI
Either way, I want out.

DOCTOR
What? To go back to America and complete you studies in gardening?

PERI
Botany.

DOCTOR
Well, then, if you’ll allow me to halt doomsday, your next trip in the TARDIS will take you right there.

PERI
There you go again! Irritating, inconsistent and intolerant! Three Is in one breath!

DOCTOR
Intolerant? Intolerant! INTOLERANT?!? ME?!?!

PERI
You’re the one that’s shouting!

DOCTOR
I have good reason to shout! I know what this is!

PERI
What?

DOCTOR
A conundrum wrapped in a dilemma.

PERI
What does that mean?

The Doctor’s fake darkens slightly, and his voice tense.

DOCTOR
Peri.

Slightly taken aback at his change of mood, Peri becomes timid.

PERI
Yeah?

DOCTOR
How do you come by a name like that?

Peri chuckles in relief, worried it was going to be serious.

PERI
It’s the diminutive of my proper name, Perpeguilliam.

The Doctor stares at her. He doesn’t believe her for a second.

DOCTOR
Indeed?

He turns away from his work and lightly begins to back away from her. Peri is puzzled.

DOCTOR
I’ve remembered now.

PERI
Remembered what?

DOCTOR
‘One morn a Peri at the Gate
Of Eden stood disconsolate’.

The Doctor’s voice is suddenly cold and harsh.

DOCTOR
Who wrote that?

PERI
I’ve no idea.

DOCTOR
Of course you don’t. You don’t even know what a Peri is, do you “Peri”?

PERI
No.

DOCTOR
Of course not! Even if you did, you wouldn’t admit it – would you?! Well, as you won’t tell me, I’ll tell you. A Peri is a good a beautiful fairy in Persian mythology.

He begins to advance on Peri, who is still none the wiser.

PERI
Well, that’s nice.

DOCTOR
Yes, isn’t it? But the interesting thing about Peris is that before they became good, they were evil. And why are you called Peri? Because that’s what you are!

PERI
It’s my name, yeah, but...

DOCTOR
Because you are evil. THOROUGHLY evil.

PERI
No, Doctor, you’re not thinking straight...

DOCTOR
You are naughty and wicked she-spirit FROM HELL!!

PERI
What are you talking about?

DOCTOR
You think I’m stupid? That I hadn’t noticed? You were with Turlough, and now he’s gone. You were with Kamelion and now he’s dead. And you were with the Master – and he’s dead too now, the poor fool. And you got me infected with Spectrox Toxaemia...

PERI
That wasn’t my fault!

DOCTOR
Yes it was. And if it weren’t for you, there would have been enough of the bat’s milk to save my life. I was lucky then, but this time? Why are we here Peri? Why is Mestor going to win? Because of YOU, Peri!

PERI
Doctor stop it!

DOCTOR
A murderer and a traitor?

PERI
I’m not a murderer! I’m not a traitor and I’m not some mythical demon!

The Doctor stares at her, as if in sudden realization.

DOCTOR
And not even a fairy.

PERI
No!

She backs away. He closes in.

DOCTOR
An alien spy! Sent here to spy on me! Like Kamelion was. And Turlough. Spy versus spy versus spy. And only one alien spy is left. And we all know the fate of alien spies...

PERI
Doctor, this is beyond a joke...

The Doctor stares at her for a moment, and suddenly seems to snap out of it. Peri lets out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the Doctor lunges at her, clamping his hands around her throat. She lets out a choked scream as he forces her to the ground, a look of insane terror on his face. Peri makes one last choking scream.

(END OF EPISODE THREE)
(NEXT EPISODE: ENDGAME)
(ROLL END CREDITS)

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