To Catch A Thief IV

34. EXT. TARBROOK TOWN SQUARE (DAY)

The town has come to life, with various folk moving back and forth. We turn our attention to the town in. A sign hanging by the door says THE HANGMAN’S FIDDLE and has an emblem of a violin and a noose motif. Colt passes the inn, thinks again, then enters.


35. INT. THE HANGMAN’S FIDDLE (DAY)

A rather dingy but well kept inn, mainly lit by the sunshine from the windows and open door. Pretchard and Kenning are sleepily enjoying breakfast (beer and gruel) at a table. A young serving girl called SOPHIA is cleaning tables with a rag while the proprietor, TOBIAS, stands behind the bar, arms folded either meditating or bored stupid. Sophia looks up as Colt enters.

SOPHIA
Oh! Ello, Mr. Colt.

Tobias is too busy staring into the distance to look up.

TOBIAS
Aye.

Pretchard and Kenning squirm. But continue to eat and drink while squirming.

COLT
A good day to you both.

SOPHIA
You’re in early this morning, Mr. Colt. It’s not usual for this many customers so early in the day?

COLT
I just have a quick favor to beg of you, Sophia. Keep your ears open for anything regarding our new prisoner. You know the one. The Captain thinks... that he could be important.

Sophia glances at Tobias, who is still staring blankly ahead.

TOBIAS
Well, Mr. Colt, I'm always keen to help the constabulary. Trouble is I have been going deaf but these last few years...

Sophia nods miserably.

SOPHIA
Ooh, yes, it's awful. And you know me, Mr. Colt, I have a terrible memory. In one ear and then out the other it is.

Colt rolls his eyes.

COLT
Every time, the same stupid ritual...

Irritably, Colt delves into a pocket and drops it on the bar. Tobias doesn’t react.

COLT
Will that do your senses for today, Tobias?

TOBIAS
Aye, it will.

Colt nods.

TOBIAS
For now.

Colt seethes. Tobias still hasn’t looked at anyone.

COLT
For now, aye.

Colt rolls his eyes and turns to leave when he spots Pretchard and Kenning at the table. Kenning is rather obviously sitting low in his chair and holding a hand over his face. Pretchard is concentrating on eating.

COLT
Well, well, well.

SOPHIA
Something wrong, Mr. Colt?

COLT
Oh, just the usual, Sophia.

Colt walks over to the pair. Kenning tries to turn up his collar to make him inconspicuous and fails agonizingly.

COLT
Still enjoying yourselves, gentlemen?

Pretchard glances up at Colt, not as afraid as he was about Farrier.

PRETCHARD
You could say that.

KENNING
Ah, but Mr. Colt, THIS time enjoyment is not of OUR making.

COLT
Is it not?

KENNING
Nay, sir. Some find enjoyment, some achieve enjoyment, but our enjoyment has been cruelly thrust upon us! Just so!

COLT
Just so?

PRETCHARD
Just so.

COLT
How so?

PRETCHARD
How so just so?

COLT
How so just so.

Pretchard looks at Kenning.

PRETCHARD
How so just so?

KENNING
Er... well, if you MUST know how so just so, well, one of my poems, sir. It has been published in an almanac.

PRETCHARD
Aye, through correspondence as well!

KENNING
And now I am some way more well-heeled a man and I were the day before.

COLT
And well-pickled?

PRETCHARD
That we be, sir, that we be.

COLT
That IS good fortune, Kenning. And it would seem only decent that I, your superior officer, join you in a drink to your health.

Kenning is not enthusiastic.

KENNING
Aye. Decent.

Colt, keeping his eyes on the others, drops some coins on the table.

COLT
Inkeep Tobias? A flagon of your finest ale for each gold sovereign.

TOBIAS
Top of the barrel it is, aye.

Tobias doesn’t move an inch, continuing to stare ahead. Scowling, Sophia rushes behind the bar to fill a flagon.


36. INT. CELL (DAY)

The Hangman’s Fiddle can be seen through the barred window. Beside it stands Tom King, wide awake and looking out the window. The Doctor lies on the floor, hands behind his head. The Doctor’s eyes are closed but he’s not alseep.

DOCTOR
...and here I am. What’s your story, sir?

KING
Less entertaining, I fancy. I simply got too close them, trying to see what was in the convoy. I must say, the whole experience was startling. I never expected watchmen to be well trained. Or trained at all.

DOCTOR
Yes. From what I could work out, they have a new officer in charge. An ex-army man.

King nods thoughtfully, still looking out the window.

KING
That would explain it, I suppose. I have heard damning things about the magistrate of this town. Rules with an iron fist, they say.

DOCTOR
And no velvet glove. He’s very keen on giving me a death sentence.

KING
Yes, the noose is on a thin leash here.

DOCTOR
An interesting phrase.

KING
I mean, hanging is the sentence for almost every crime. Especially for highwaymen.

DOCTOR
Ah, but I am NOT a highwayman.

KING
You aren't?

DOCTOR
No!

KING
Even when not accidentally freeing cattle?

DOCTOR
No. Not even a thief. At least, not for a considerable number of years.

King shrugs thoughtfully.

DOCTOR
Why do you find it so hard to believe?

KING
You have the manner about you.

DOCTOR
Highwaymen have manners?

KING
The rebellious streak. One who refuses to play by the rules.

DOCTOR
True enough. But I just don't steal money to fulfill that rebellious streak.

KING
There seem so few ways to fill the craving. What are the others?

MARY (VO)
There aren't any.

The Doctor turns around. It is now bright enough to see there is another barred window in the wall opposite, revealing the next cell. A rather grubby but attractive woman called MARY is sitting up on her bed to look through the window. She speaks sleepily, having just awoken.


37. INT. THE HANGMAN’S FIDDLE (DAY)

Colt now sits with Pretchard and Kenning. All three now have flagons. Colt raises his in a toast.

COLT
To your health and continued success as an artisan, sir.

Kenning does not hide his suspicion.

KENNING
Thank ee.

Colt is about to drink, but pauses in thought.

COLT
Oh. Wait.

PRETCHARD
What is it?

COLT
I’ve just remembered something.

KENNING
What?

COLT
I don't drink on duty!

He tips the contents of the flagon onto Kenning’s head.

COLT
And nor should you.

He slams the flagon down onto the table with enough force to shake it and scare the other two, who flinch.

COLT
But I am no tyrant. I will say nothing of the fact that you are late to report for duty. Again. I will say nothing of your embarrassing incompetence. Again. And I gladly turn a blind-eye to a man clearly wasting watch-business time to pursue an imaginary future in writing. Again. So just report for duty and carry it out well in ten minutes time and I shall see no need to breath a word of this to Captain Farrier - who is SUCH a better tyrant than I.

He reaches out, with both hands taking the other two tankards and empty them over the heads of Pretchard and Kenning. A long pause.

PRETCHARD
You want gratitude, do you, sir?

COLT
Yes, Pretchard. Undying gratitude.

He rises.

KENNING
And make sure to dry yourself off. You look like drowned rats in man-costumes.

He turns and strides out. A long pause. Pretchard and Kenning are dripping wet.

PRETCHARD
What a strange man. Who does he think he is?

Sophia sighs and starts mopping up the table between them.

SOPHIA
He used to be real nice, did Mr. Colt. Now... he's just another of Sir Anthony's bullies.

PRETCHARD
He’s a madman as well.

KENNING
Aye! He asks and pays for best ale and wastes every last drop just for a witticism! He could have just ordered us to leave but he HAS to make a scene out of it.

PRETCHARD
Hide of the man... It WAS the best ale too, wasn’t it Tobias?

Tobias still hasn’t reacted.

TOBIAS
Aye. By thunder.

KENNING
Wasted every wretched drop an’ all.

Pretchard shrugs and picks up an empty flagon.

PRETCHARD
Oh, I wouldn’t say that, Kenning.

He starts to wring out his shirt over the empty flagon.

PRETCHARD
Not quite EVERY drop.

SOPHIA
What ARE you doing?

Pretchard looks up, innocently.

PRETCHARD
Waste not, want not. Aye, Tobias?

Tobias still doesn’t react.

TOBIAS
Aye.

Kenning shrugs and starts to wring his shirt sleeve over his own flagon.

KENNING
Oh well, why not?

Sophia shakes her head.


38. INT. CELLS (DAY)

The Doctor, wide awake, stands by the window, reaching through to shake Mary’s hand.

DOCTOR
Good morning. I’m the Doctor. And who might you be?

KING
Ah, THIS fine young lady is Miss Mary Brazier.

Mary smiles at the Doctor.

MARY
I'm a thief.

DOCTOR
Everybody seems to be, nowadays.

MARY
You are in the churney house. Bit rude complaining about the company you get?

DOCTOR
Who said I was complaining?

KING
You’d best be kind to her, Doctor. She’s been brought to Tarbrook especially.

DOCTOR
“Especially”? What do you mean?

MARY
He means I was brought here especially. I was in Brixton, then suddenly get bunged into a cart and brought all the way out here. In the middle of nowhere.

DOCTOR
Nonsense, Tarbook is slightly south of the middle of nowhere.

KING
As I say, be kind to the lady.

DOCTOR
I didn’t have any other plans.

King walks over to the Doctor and leans against the wall beside him. He mutters to the Doctor quietly.

KING
Seems she is connected to somebody. Somebody important.

The Doctor mutters back to him.

DOCTOR
If so, she could be our best chance of escape.

KING
Like I said, Doctor, be kind to the lady.


39. INT. JAILHOUSE (NIGHT)

CROWLEY is asleep once more. Colt bursts in and Crowley snaps awake in the exact same manner he did before.

CROWLEY
I'm awake, sir! Swear on my life!

COLT
Crowley. It’s me.

Crowley relaxes slightly.

CROWELY
Ah, yes. Hullo, sir.

COLT
I’ve come for the new prisoner. Farrier wants to see him.

Crowley grimaces.

CROWLEY
Oh, dear.

COLT
Not like that, Crowley. He just wants to talk to the prisoner.

CROWLEY
“Talk”?

COLT
Just talk.

CROWLEY
Oh, I see then, sir. I see. Come with me, then, sir.

Relieved, Crowley rises, snatching up the keys.


40. INT. CELL (DAY)

As before.

MARY
I’m just a thief. When I went to London I did good rounds there.

DOCTOR
But I fail to see why you were taken here. I don't mean to be rude, Miss Brazier, but how exactly did you merit special treatment?

KING
She is dangerous – according to the authorities, anyway.

MARY
Me? I’m harmless. Until men chain me up.

There is the sound of the cell door being unlocked.

DOCTOR
Ah! No doubt Peri’s here with an escape plan and breakfast!

The door opens and Colt enters, followed by Crowley.

DOCTOR
Oh. Morning, Crowley? Did you bring breakfast?

CROWLEY
Sorry but no. Hope you’re keeping well.

DOCTOR
I’ve never been better. Who’s your intimidating friend?

COLT
I am Richard Colt.

DOCTOR
But of course you are.

COLT
I am with the Watch. I have come to take you to see Captain Farrier.

DOCTOR
Does HE have breakfast?

COLT
Not for you.

DOCTOR
Barbarians. All right, let’s talk to Captain Ferrier. I’m sure cooler heads will prevail... you sure breakfast’s off the menu?

COLT
Quite sure. Move.

The Doctor and Colt leave. King starts to follow. Crowley bars his way.

CROWLEY
And where d’you think you’re going, Mr. King?

KING
My legs ache. I need to stretch them very badly...

CROWLEY
Now, now. Let’s have none of that, Mr. King.

Put out, King slumps disconsolate on the bed.

KING
As you wish, Crowley, as you wish.


41. INT. JAIL CORRIDOR (DAY)

The Doctor heads for the stairs, followed by Colt.

DOCTOR
I think, Mr. Colt, it’s best you know Miss Brazier there is waiting to hear from you.

COLT
Don't worry about her, my friend. We'll be dealing with her very shortly.

DOCTOR
Is that as nasty as it sounds?

COLT
You have yet to meet Captain Farrier.

to be continued...